3 Things I Loved Most About House Church

We said good-bye to The Community at Creekside last Saturday night, the house church I helped birth back in the beginning of 2008.  This peaceful, rather unstructured worship setting has offered freedom and healing and joy to those who have done life with us along the way.

I was recently told that I've changed for the better in the process.  Less driven, less intense, less wounded.  

The Spirit has worked overtime to gentle and calm my soul.  House church's atmosphere has played a role in my healing and growth.  I'm grateful.

What I've loved most?

1.   No committees, no power plays, no posturing and maneuvering, no grappling for control.

After decades in administrative and leadership roles in the traditional church, the distinct lack of rigid hierarchical structure has been a true gift, a lovely relief, a healing stream.  Decisions were made easily, amicably, without alot of fanfare, wrangling, drama, or trauma.  

2.  Weekends morphed into a true sabbath rest.

The release of busyness started late Saturday afternoon in preparation for church at 7 pm.  And the sweet respite, the slower pace flowed right through Sunday evening, a sacred pause that let us recover from the week's pressures and prepared us well for the next five days. 

No alarms jangling to wake us up, no crazy running for the door early in the morning in our Sunday best.  No series of classes, meetings, and programs that we were expected to jam into our schedule.

Just a gently quiet weekend ebb and flow that we quickly embraced.  Sabbath rest at its finest.

3.  A growth in godly character, not numbers.

People sometimes ask me if the Community has grown.  They mean numerically, as in bodies attending.  No, it hasn't.  

And is this a perfect group of people?  Far from it.  We're all saved sinners, remember?

But I have seen a growth in character, the fruit of the Spirit's gentle wooing.  More grace extended.  Patience blooming into full fruition.  Kindness showing up on a regular basis.  A steadfast generosity eager to extend itself to those in need.  Faithful love that became evident in a myriad of ways.

I will miss this little community, Bob's deep insight into God's Word, Wayne and Lynn's joyous energy in leading us in worship.  I'm a bit scared to go back to a traditional church setting.  I've been burned a time or two before and the scars remain, still a bit tender to the touch.

But follow His lead we will, for we know He has a new place for us to call home.

I love you guys.  And last Saturday night, all your lavish expressions of love and affection were oh so gratefully received, soaked up into our just-a-bit overwhelmed souls. The memories of our joyful celebration of God's goodness will linger long after the tears have been forgotten.

And if you're reading this post in or around Poughkeepsie and don't have a church home?  There are a couple of vacant, very comfy seats that just might have your name on them ...

:::

THE TRANSITION JOURNEY ~ AN UNEXPECTED SERIES

In Which This Is All So Very Bittersweet

Dear Linda  : :  Answering Your Questions About the Transition

For Sale . . . Our Much-Loved Haven

The Getting-the-House-Ready-to-Sell Whirlwind

Leaning in the Whirlwind

The Sheer Joy of Kindred Spirit Companionship

Honoring My Clients As I Close Up Shop

3 Things I Loved Most About House Church

Choosing Light-Hearted Responses

Moving On

:::

connecting with 

Kelly  .  Jennifer  .  Holley  .  Lyli

Part 2 : : When Writing & Community Get Cozy ~ A Blog Hop

One of the energizing graces of blogging is that you truly can soar like a bird freed from her cage.  You get to stretch your creative little wings as you design your online home ... and can change it on a whim.  You choose what time of day or night you pick up your pen ... or not.  You follow your heart when it comes to subject matter and carefully select the images that highlight your labors of love. 

How cool is this!

Delightfully, there's no official blog police lurking close by, rulebooks in hand.  And for those of us who love Christ, we do, in essence, write for the most gracious audience of One who welcomes us with open arms, who's delighted to hear the stories that come from the depth of our souls, and is the Author Himself of any bit of creative essence, quirky whimsy, or deep wisdom that we may offer. 

The rest is sheer gift.

So when a blog hop comes along and a couple of the next participants are taking a break from writing, it's no big deal!  You simply pen When Writing & Community Get Cozy.  And five weeks later, you do a part 2!

This is it!

When you read online intros to these kind of posts, the writers often spin the most winsome of stories about when and where they met their friends.  But I can't do that, because these 3 women have been a steady presence in my life, a central part of this community for eons.  I can't for the life of me track back the details of our fledgling connections. 

And it's not important.

What matters is that they live out the radiant beauties of community done well.  And have taught me that yes, you can develop relationships online that stand the test of time.  They've reminded me that often the best life lessons are learned at the knee of another soul who's traveling a different path, but whose heart beats as one with yours.

So please welcome these 3 remarkable ladies who are taking the hop toward the next divergent pathways.  I can't wait to follow where they're leading.  Grab your hat and come with us ...

*

Meet Loralu James Conville, {better known as Lulu).  You'll find her navigating city life, experiencing new cultures, and enjoying fresh community celebrations.  She spots spiritual insights through her adventures and she eagerly shares them with her readers.

'Born and raised in a twenty mile radius---a small town girl for most of my life---after a life changing event, I moved to the Big City last year.  Southern—through and through---I have the twang to prove it, but there is no twang in my writing.

A retired bean counter who loves adventure, exercising, cooking, reading, volunteering, traveling, talking with friends, and working in the garden-I can be a study in motion.  Mother to three and Lulu to five-my largest blessing and greatest joy comes from the honor of being called Mom and Lulu. 

Above all I am the beloved of the Most High King who loves me faithfully and calls me His own.'
 

And I'm delighted to introduce Ceil Ryan, whose writings never fail to enlarge my borders and always leave me thinking deep.  Her radiant personality shines through her heart-words and is captured in the personal way she connects with her many readers.
 
'Ceil Ryan is a Wife, Nurse, Mom and Nana of three living in the Midwest.  After working over twenty years, she hung up her nurse’s cap to start writing and blogging full time.  Ceil enjoys nature walks, campfires and leading small groups.  She can also be found coloring, eating play food and sorting shapes with her grandchildren.

Ceil’s passion is sharing personal stories with an emphasis on faith and encouragement.  She’d love to meet you, with a ready ear to hear your story too.'
 

  

Last, but certainly not least, Beth Steffaniak is the first faraway blogger I've met in person, and our sweet visit remains one of the highlights of my year.  She's built a delightful community centered on messy marriages, with her Tuesday evening link-up a big draw for marriage-lovers from all over.

'I've always had a heart for helping the hurting and discouraged.  So in my twenties, I obtained a Master's Degree in Marriage and Family Counseling and counseled for many years before transitioning to a certified life coach about two years ago. 

My husband, Gary is the Pastor of Care and Recovery at our church, where we both serve as leaders in the church's recovery ministry.  We've been married for 27 {sometimes 'messy'} years and have three handsome sons, the youngest of whom is going off to college this fall, making us empty-nesters {sniff, sniff!}!'

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When Writing & Community Get Cozy ~ A Blog Hop



How fun to introduce you to Mary Geisen!  She's a teacher with a compassionate heart as wide and big as all outdoors.   And since some of my favorite people spend their days pouring their lives into the next generation, I've been drawn to her ever since she dropped by to introduce herself at May's big syncroblog.  I love that we've just kind of clicked.  Chatting with her is always a treat.

So when she invited me to jump into this blog hop, I was a bit intrigued.  It wasn't the first invitation that's come my way.  But it was the first time I could be available to say 'yep, I'm in!'  Truth be told, at first glance, it smacked a bit of one of those chain letters which I avoid like the plague.  But after tracking back the chain and reading through a few fascinating posts that have paved the way, I couldn't say no. 

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The 4 big questions that have been hopping their way around online spaces in recent days ...

What am I writing or working on?

I'm in the process of adding blog coaching to the mix of what I do.  I've been a certified life coach for over a decade and have been blogging for more than five years.  And I see a huge, unmet need that we bloggers bring to the table ... a yearning for honest conversations that go deep in figuring why we're doing what we're doing online.  What's unique and irresistible about who we are and what we offer.  Taking our creative juices to the next level.  And listening to hear what God might be wanting to do in these spaces.  That kind of thing. 

How does my work differ from others of its genre?

I've found few blogs written by counselors / coaches that interweave the professional and personal in ways that are real and authentic, yet appropriate. I've found it to be an interesting dance, and one that has come to fit me to a T.  I'd love to see other people helpers get right in and do life with us.

My inner motto is 'just because you've got a bunch of letters after your name doesn't mean you've arrived.'  I tend to be a hope-giver, saying, 'it's ok to be where you are.  I've been there, done that, and this is what I've learned.  Now ... let's move ahead together.' 

Why do I write what I write?

I write in partnership with the Lover of my soul.  It sounds like I'm trying to be pious, but this is what's true for me.  The childhood verse, 'Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer' has morphed into a steady prayer I breathe.

I feel His pleasure when I hit that orange publish button.  Great joy comes when a gentle soul quietly tells me that she loves the blog even though she's never left a comment.  I like knowing that some of what I've learned along the way through the hard times or at the knee of my counseling clients or in the study of the Word or by my training, can be redeemed in encouraging another soul. 

And even though I'm an introvert born and bred, being a community builder is in my blood.  Along the way I've had a hand in developing all kinds of cozy, safe, hope-filled groups so that people will know they're not alone, there are others in the same boat who'd just love to do life with them.  Single parents and the terminally ill, fellow counselors and courageous souls in recovery, ministry leaders and women in need of encouragement.  Envisioning, birthing, and nurturing the Creekside community with my ministry partner, Bob, has been one of the highlights of my life. 

Building this little online community, one reader at a time?  Simply put, a real sweet spot for me!  My heart's desire is that you know without a doubt, that you, my friend, are welcome here. 

 

 

How does my writing process work?

I do my best work in the morning soon after I wake up, a mug of hot tea and a little bowl of Cheerios close at hand.  I've also been known to pen whole posts in the early stages of sleep.  Really.  Through the day, I jot down weird ideas and random quotes and words of songs on the back of napkins, the last page in the checkbook, odd scraps of paper.  Wherever a stray pen can find a place to land.

Most posts take awhile to pull together.  I tend to really massage the written word over and over.  Let it sit for awhile.  Come back and stir things up a bit some more 'til I'm satisfied.  I have a real eye for detail.  It's in the gene pool.  But I have absolutely no training as a writer and little comprehension of all that grammar stuff that I should have learned along the way.  A thesaurus is my best friend. 

I don't even bother aiming for perfection, which is a total waste of time since I don't view myself as a writer, but a counselor / coach who blogs.  And perfect people are seldom happy in their skin or ever satisfied with what they put out there.  But I do aim for excellence, putting my best efforts on the table.  I think there's a huge difference.  And I'm kind of intrigued with what the Lover of my soul is doing in this season ...

*

A brief spotlight on the upcoming 3 bloggers on this cool little hop ... 

Community is not a buzz word for these women.  They live it vibrantly out loud, whether in the neighborhood, online world, or church.  They've been longtime faithful cheerleaders here in this online community.  And though they make their homes in places far from where I'm sitting, I am blessed to count them as friends. 

A few of them are on a bit of a blogging sabbatical, so we've agreed that all three will be picking up the blog hop somewhere 'round the 3rd week of August.  I'll be the first to let you know when they're ready to roll.  Trust me, reading a bit of their stories and their responses to those 4 questions will be well worth the wait!

Meanwhile, go ahead and sneak a peek over at their places.  And do tell them that Linda sent you!

Loralu James Conville
{better known as Lulu}

L oving

O bsessive

R edeemed

A dventuresome

L oony

U biquitous

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Ceil Ryan

Writer, Connector, Faith-lover.

What's your story?

*

Beth Steffaniak

creative, loyal, listener,

persistent, introspective, zealous 

 

 

*   click right here to subscribe & be a full-fledged part of the Creekside community!   *

*   visiting Kristen's community   *

The Blog Forum : : A Creative Little Series #5 ~ Creating Your Community

 

Community. 

We all yearn for it.  God's designed us that way.  We long for an authentic welcome, a safe connection.  Something deep within cries out to be heard, to be validated, to be appreciated.  We need hugs and sharpening wisdom and fellow sojourners alongside for the long haul.

Much of what we desire at the deepest level can only be met in relationship with Jesus Christ.  But there is still that element of community here on earth that beckons.  We're called to live in communities of faith and not be isolated from our neighbors.  Some sort of small group or two where there's a strong sense of belonging can enlarge our borders and breathe new life into our beings.  And who doesn't crave kindred spirit friendships with just a few like-minded souls.

This is true for many of us who blog.

But truth be told, I've found that there are some bloggers that are just not all that into creating a hospitable space.  No welcome mat seems to be found on their property, there's no sense of warm hospitality.  Comments are seldom responded to and they don't reciprocate your visit or your interest in connecting.  And that's fine.  {Please know that I'm NOT pointing a finger at any specific blogs and that I'm NOT talking about bloggers who get a hundred comments every time they hit publish.  You'd make yourself crazed trying to connect with each and every reader.} 

And there's no one right way to do this blogging thing.

But many of us like the opportunity to connect, and it goes far beyond gathering hits or followers or commenters.  It comes down to using that lovely gift of hospitality to make others feel welcome and at home and like they belong.   Arms are open wide to newcomers ... they're not outsiders looking in. They are part of the group.  They are valued and accepted.

No one likes to feel excluded. 

It brings back too many memories of being last to be chosen on the playground or sitting by yourself at lunchtime, isolated and ignored.  And that's an unspoken message I never want to send.

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3 ways I do community on this blog . . .

1.  I reply to each comment you leave.  You've taken the time in your busy day to be gracious and thoughtful.  For me, it's just plain rude if I don't answer you back.  That's just who I am.  Even if it takes a few days, it's going to happen.  

2.  I travel over to your place to visit and say 'hi' if your comment includes a working link.  {Please know that if your link is a Google+ page, it's often difficult to track you down if there's not a specific link to your site.}  It means alot to me that you've taken the time to write a few kind words.  And I truly want to do the same.  Sometimes you drop back in for another visit and I head back over to see what's happening at your place.  We begin to connect.  A friendship begins to emerge.  It doesn't get better than that.

3.  I feature your comments on the right side of the website.  I love giving you a forum to speak your mind and it's fun to introduce people to each other.  I want to honor you by getting your name out there.  I absolutely believe that this feature is valuable enough to take up some real estate around here.

That's how community is woven 'round these parts.  There's no one right way to do this.  We all have different ways of relating and the sky's the limit when it comes to weaving together your own very uniquely compelling space. 

 

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A few words on link-ups {aka linky parties} . . .

The welcome mat is out at these gatherings, such a cool way to build community, especially if your visitors are of the same heart and mind and also make it a point not to just link and run. The secret is to somehow persuade your linkers to visit their neighbors before they head on out.

I'm loving . . .

Emily's What We Learned

 

Kristen's Works for Me Wednesday

 

Holley's Coffee for Your Heart

 

Deidra's The Sunday Community

 

FORUM

 

How do you do community over at your place?

 

What link-ups have proved to be worth the investment of your time?

 

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BONUS!  A FREE 1/2 hour coaching session is my gift to anyone who's left a comment in one of the six sessions of this series.  Details will be in the upcoming conclusion!

 

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The Blog Forum  : :  A Creative Little Series

 

The Blog Forum  : :  A Creative Little Series #2 ~ Crafting Your Mission Statement

 

The Blog Forum  : :  A Creative Little Series #3 ~ Designing Your Look

 

The Blog Forum  : :  A Creative Little Series #4 ~ Editing Your Masterpiece

 

The Blog Forum  : :  A Creative Little Series #6 ~ Envisioning Your Future

 

This is YOUR invitation to become an active part of this community!  Please click here to receive every post.

 

Sharing community with Beth  .  Kristen  .  Beth  .  Holley  .  Lyli 

 

If this series has been working for you, I'd love for you to share it with your community! 

The links are below.

31 Days of Awesome Relationships : : Day 9 : : A Pastor's Wife Shares Her Heartache

Back on Day 1, I invited our 31 Day readers to shoot me a quick email with a question about some kind of relationship issue ... a dilemma, a choice, or a challenge sitting right in front of you.  Within hours, this letter found its way to my inbox ...

How do you close one chapter and move onto the next ... not getting bitter and hateful when you get dropped as a friend?

I had a group I thought I was close with ... and I went thru a hard time in my marriage -- and my (youth pastor) hubby had to resign from his job so we could go get help ... My husband and I have gotten to a great place & God has been so good to restore.

Problem is, we are still in town so reminders and old friends are everywhere ... of those, I talk to 2 girls.  That huge group ... just shunned us. That hurt as much as the stuff I was going thru in my marriage.

For a while I was so angry. First at God, but then he showed me that I was so hurt because the church didn't act like the church ... the very people who should have been bearers of grace and compassion and love, weren't.  

I don't want it to still hurt, but it does. I invested and poured out my life for 4 1/2 years into those relationships, and then we had to leave and it's like we never existed or made a difference or were important to anyone.

 

My response ...

 

Thank you, A, for your note.  It sounds like alot has happened in quick order and it's left your heart broken, your head spinning, and your life empty.

 

First of all, I am truly sorry for the challenge that's hit your marriage, and thankful that God has begun to bring hope and healing there.  These difficulties surely have been magnified because your husband is a pastor.  Any choices or decisions that have been made within your marriage have not only affected your family, but impacted your church family as well.

 

That has, most likely, left your friends feel like the rug has pulled out from under them, and left them feeling confused, disappointed, hurt.  They probably aren't quite sure what to do with all these painful emotions.  And yes, the result would be exactly as you've written ... they have pulled away.  They are grieving the loss of their pastor and his wife, their church family as it was, and the warm, safe experience of an intact community.

 

In order for you to go on without bitterness, you must continue to do what you've already started to do ... grieve the lost dream of a picture perfect marriage and the departure of your church family and friends.  While so much of what has occurred has been out of your control, making the choice to refuse to haul this painful stuff around is a pivotal decision that, with God's strength, you have the power to make.  

 

A few things that might help ...

 

1.  Journaling can be a huge tool to help you unpack all the very real emotions that are swirling around right now.  Many of us begin this spiritual discipline when we've just about hit bottom.  This is a great grief, and there's no better Person to walk you through this valley than the Lover of your soul.  Invite God right into the middle of your crisis and name your hurts and the feelings of abandonment so they don't get stuffed down into your soul and begin to form bitter roots that will only lead to bitter fruit {Hebrews 12:15}.  

 

2.  I'd encourage you and your husband to be involved in some ongoing marriage counseling so that you can explore the roots of what led to this situation, and make plans for improved communication in the future.  There might be the need for one or both of you to benefit from individual counseling, as well.

 

3.  You mentioned that you are still in touch with two friends.  See if you are able to re-cultivate those relationships outside the church setting, focusing on all the common interests and enjoyable activities that you've shared together.  Please steer clear of conversation about anything to do with the church, and see if you can foster a new, richer bond.

 

4.  This isn't easy, but it's time to begin to expand your borders and discover some new relationships that will bring you hope, cultivate some hidden potential, or simply get you out of the house.  If you ever wanted to take a class, volunteer, join a book club or Bible study, now's the time.  I'm assuming that you are looking for a new church family.  I trust that God will give you the gracious gift of 'wounded healers' there who will warmly welcome you into a new community.  My prayer is that you will discover those 'bearers of grace and compassion and love' that you so long for.

5.  This final step could be the most powerful in your healing.  Would you commit to praying for your former church family for just 1 minute a day?  Chances are that many of those you poured out your life for are experiencing some of the same emotions that you are.
 

Warmly ~

 

 

 

 

 

P.S.  That Day 1 welcome mat is still out ... feel free to write to me here.

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Don't miss the chance to win

a $25 Applebee's gift card or a $10 i-tunes gift card!

Be sure to leave a comment to enter this October 31st giveaway!

Click here for the links to each of the 31 posts.

 

* orange mailbox by VinCross    

 

                                             

The House Church

40% of pastors of conventional churches in the U.S. say they would recommend a house church to someone. (Foster)

Check out The Community at Creekside.
A safe haven, a healing place ... we're "loving each other deeply" (1 Peter 4:8) as we pray, worship, study, mature, serve, give, connect, reach out ...

and I'm loving it!

If you live in the Poughkeepsie area and do not have a church family, we'd love to have you discover what a casual Saturday evening house church looks like.

Discovering & Embracing Sabbath ~ Linda

Community

"We need to find a still point inside a community of faith. We need to find a home ... Finding a home is not, in the end, so much a question of finding a building, a city, a country or a place where we feel we belong. More deeply, finding a home is a question of finding another heart or a community of hearts wherein we feel at one, safe, warm, comfortable, able to be ourselves, secure enough to express both faith and affection ... There is an answer to that loneliness, a new home inside that community of faith."
~ Rohlheiser

"If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if His love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care - then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of Himself"
~ Philippians 2:1-5 (The Message).

With prayer that you will discover that

unique, peaceful, Christ-honoring place ~

Linda