Remembering Brent (1968 - 2023)

 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
Revelation 21:4

It's with great sadness that I share the news of the heavenly homegoing of our dear friend and my former ministry partner, Brent Carl.  This faithful servant of God, beloved by so many, is now with Jesus, the One he adored and served.

Brent ministered faithfully over the years in churches, Samaritan's Purse, counseling, and creative ministry venues in NY and New England.  He was widely known for his gentle pastor's heart, ability to relate deeply to people of all ages, and giftedness in teaching God's Word in ways that were always practical and relevant.   

His obituary is here.

 

Dear readers, you blessed Brent and Bonnie and their kids with prayer and financial support through GoFundMe when I reached out to you back in January.  I am trusting that you will do the same for Bonnie and their beautiful children in the days ahead.  

And Brent, if you're listening, I know I speak for the many who grieve your suffering and death at such a young age.  You have shown us what it looks like to deeply trust Jesus in the valley of the shadow.  

Serving together on the same team for those 13 years was sheer joy even during the rocky seasons.  Thanks for introducing me to blogging ... and for all the biblical wisdom and encouraging words you shared along the way.  

I know you and Bob are having the time of your lives together again with your dearest Friend, Jesus.  Save a seat for me at the table, ok ...

Linda

this tribute was originally published at 
LindaStoll.net

Remembering Pastor Bob (1940 - 2019)

It is with great sadness that I share the news of the heavenly homegoing of our dear friend and former pastor, my mentor and ministry partner, Bob Eckler on November 19th.  This faithful servant of God, beloved by so many, is now with Jesus, the One he passionately adored and served.

I'm confident that his deep bass voice is joyfully lifted strong as he praises God face to face ... and I can only imagine that he's having the time of his life meeting and greeting the many saints, family, and friends that went on before him.

His obituary and information on his 
Celebration of Life Service is here.

From 2002 - 2015, I had the joy of serving with Bob on the pastoral staff at the church where he was senior pastor and then at Creekside Ministries, the pastoral counseling center / house church we co-founded at the home he shared with his lovely, gracious wife, Dottie.

Along the way, Bob and I partnered together in developing a Celebrate Recovery program, facilitated week long seminars for single parents, and provided marriage counseling as a team so that both husbands and wives could feel comfortable as they sought help and support.

Bob's deep love for Jesus and his passion for caring for his flock are well known.  His hearty laugh and propensity to burst into a verse or two of a favorite hymn as he went through his day are fondly remembered by all who interacted with him.  This mighty prayer warrior deeply cared for those who were broken in spirit and was an incredibly powerful preacher of God's Word, a kind and tender-hearted pastor who loved his people well.

In our 13 years of serving God together, Bob generously opened numerous ministry doors for me, championing my work in ways that I most likely never would have otherwise experienced as a woman in conservative evangelical circles.

To say I am grateful would be a vast understatement.

Bob, if you're somehow reading this, please know that your Christ-centered life and faithful ministry impacted countless souls for the Kingdom.  Tim and our family join me in grieving your immense loss.  We thank God upon every remembrance of you {Philippians 1:3}.
Linda

2010

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this tribute was originally posted at

LindaStoll.net

Stop Waiting Around

Way back a decade or so ago, I printed out this quote.  I needed to see it in blue and white.  It held court on my office bulletin board for a time, and ended up tucked in the front pocket of my first journal.  I needed to be reminded again and again that God had placed a call on my life, and, wonder of wonders, had seen fit to give me what I needed to put that call into action.

Yes, there were some naysayers along the way.  And I'll be the first to admit that I got more than a bit disappointed, frustrated, and discouraged by the questioning of my motives, odd looks, being treated like I was invisible, and excluded from tables to which I was qualified to sit at.  Truth be told, lots of people, mostly men, didn't quite know what to do with a woman in ministry, especially one with a pastoral calling.

But you know what?  You've just gotta move on.  Many of us have wasted altogether way too much energy and time fighting the status quo, trying to explain ourselves, dealing with the good ol' boys club, endless political wrangling, and hitting those denominational glass ceilings.  We've gotta stop waiting around for affirmation and approval and accolades from the self-appointed powers that be. 

For we'll only get that from God Himself. 

Bottom line is this.  There's a world out there filled with broken, wounded people who need to know that Jesus Christ can bring hope, healing, and wholeness.  God has gifted you to be something special, to do something substantial for His kingdom. 

So stop waiting around for an invite to a place at the table, your name in lights, or some kind of appointed position, dear sister.  It might not ever happen.  Move ahead.  Roll up your sleeves and get to work.  The time is short, the fields are white and ready to harvest, and your unique combination of giftedness, abilities, and calling are sorely needed.
 
The Apostle Paul said it best - We make it our goal to please Him.  And as our focus shifts to honoring Him alone, you can be assured that almighty God Himself will open the doors to serve Him, one by one ...

 

==> sharing hope with Beth  .  Emily  .  Laura  .  Kristen

On Church Politics . . .

Church politicking in full gear with the power hungry jostling for position and influence?

Business meetings rapidly going downhill into destructive posturing and maneuvering?

Hidden agendas jumping out right and left, hindering the unifying work of the Spirit?

Weary of the whole thing and longing for the power of sacred worship and a deep soul connection defined by a pure servantheartedness?

Looks like you're not the only one ...

'I can't stand your religious meetings.

I'm fed up with your conferences and conventions.

 

I want nothing to do with your religion projects,

your pretentious slogans and goals.

I'm sick of your fund-raising schemes,

Your public relations and image making.

 

I've had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.

When was the last time you sang to Me?

 

Do you know what I want?

I want justice - oceans of it.

I want fairness - rivers of it.

That's what I want.  That's all I want.'

- Amos 5:21-24 {The Message}

 

 

 

 

 

Of Lists, Agendas, and Red Pens

I'm big on making lists.  The white board on the fridge.  My trusty planner.  An occasional scrap of paper tossed on the counter.  The always present tear-off pad that resides on the left side of my ancient oak desk.  There's something safe and secure and necessary in gathering all that's prone to scatter to the wind and keeping it front and center.

I think I'm not alone in this.             

I'm all about taking care of business, having been absorbed in decades of ministry leadership in a myriad of ways, shapes, and forms.  Agendas can be a helpful tool, saving priceless time and energy that's better invested in cultivating relationships.  I love to see things done well and I truly believe that excellence is important because we serve an audience of One, the Creator and King of the universe.  So in the process of it all, it's not uncommon for me to have a red pen in hand, brainstorming, planning, writing, designing, editing, and proofing into oblivion. 

I think I'm not alone in this.

But a reading from Elizabeth Elliot brought a bit of enlightenment recently, a gentle reminder that life is not defined by our never ending lists and the agendas that can grow to possess and define. 

In her classic volume, A LAMP FOR MY FEET, she mused, 'One reason we are so harried and hurried is that we make yesterday and tomorrow our business, when all that legitimately concerns us is today.  If we really have too much to do, there are some items on the agenda which God did not put there.  Let us submit the list to Him and ask Him to indicate which items we must delete.  There is always time to do the will of God.  If we are too busy to do that, we are too busy.'

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31 Days of Awesome Relationships : : Day 9 : : A Pastor's Wife Shares Her Heartache

Back on Day 1, I invited our 31 Day readers to shoot me a quick email with a question about some kind of relationship issue ... a dilemma, a choice, or a challenge sitting right in front of you.  Within hours, this letter found its way to my inbox ...

How do you close one chapter and move onto the next ... not getting bitter and hateful when you get dropped as a friend?

I had a group I thought I was close with ... and I went thru a hard time in my marriage -- and my (youth pastor) hubby had to resign from his job so we could go get help ... My husband and I have gotten to a great place & God has been so good to restore.

Problem is, we are still in town so reminders and old friends are everywhere ... of those, I talk to 2 girls.  That huge group ... just shunned us. That hurt as much as the stuff I was going thru in my marriage.

For a while I was so angry. First at God, but then he showed me that I was so hurt because the church didn't act like the church ... the very people who should have been bearers of grace and compassion and love, weren't.  

I don't want it to still hurt, but it does. I invested and poured out my life for 4 1/2 years into those relationships, and then we had to leave and it's like we never existed or made a difference or were important to anyone.

 

My response ...

 

Thank you, A, for your note.  It sounds like alot has happened in quick order and it's left your heart broken, your head spinning, and your life empty.

 

First of all, I am truly sorry for the challenge that's hit your marriage, and thankful that God has begun to bring hope and healing there.  These difficulties surely have been magnified because your husband is a pastor.  Any choices or decisions that have been made within your marriage have not only affected your family, but impacted your church family as well.

 

That has, most likely, left your friends feel like the rug has pulled out from under them, and left them feeling confused, disappointed, hurt.  They probably aren't quite sure what to do with all these painful emotions.  And yes, the result would be exactly as you've written ... they have pulled away.  They are grieving the loss of their pastor and his wife, their church family as it was, and the warm, safe experience of an intact community.

 

In order for you to go on without bitterness, you must continue to do what you've already started to do ... grieve the lost dream of a picture perfect marriage and the departure of your church family and friends.  While so much of what has occurred has been out of your control, making the choice to refuse to haul this painful stuff around is a pivotal decision that, with God's strength, you have the power to make.  

 

A few things that might help ...

 

1.  Journaling can be a huge tool to help you unpack all the very real emotions that are swirling around right now.  Many of us begin this spiritual discipline when we've just about hit bottom.  This is a great grief, and there's no better Person to walk you through this valley than the Lover of your soul.  Invite God right into the middle of your crisis and name your hurts and the feelings of abandonment so they don't get stuffed down into your soul and begin to form bitter roots that will only lead to bitter fruit {Hebrews 12:15}.  

 

2.  I'd encourage you and your husband to be involved in some ongoing marriage counseling so that you can explore the roots of what led to this situation, and make plans for improved communication in the future.  There might be the need for one or both of you to benefit from individual counseling, as well.

 

3.  You mentioned that you are still in touch with two friends.  See if you are able to re-cultivate those relationships outside the church setting, focusing on all the common interests and enjoyable activities that you've shared together.  Please steer clear of conversation about anything to do with the church, and see if you can foster a new, richer bond.

 

4.  This isn't easy, but it's time to begin to expand your borders and discover some new relationships that will bring you hope, cultivate some hidden potential, or simply get you out of the house.  If you ever wanted to take a class, volunteer, join a book club or Bible study, now's the time.  I'm assuming that you are looking for a new church family.  I trust that God will give you the gracious gift of 'wounded healers' there who will warmly welcome you into a new community.  My prayer is that you will discover those 'bearers of grace and compassion and love' that you so long for.

5.  This final step could be the most powerful in your healing.  Would you commit to praying for your former church family for just 1 minute a day?  Chances are that many of those you poured out your life for are experiencing some of the same emotions that you are.
 

Warmly ~

 

 

 

 

 

P.S.  That Day 1 welcome mat is still out ... feel free to write to me here.

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Be sure to leave a comment to enter this October 31st giveaway!

Click here for the links to each of the 31 posts.

 

* orange mailbox by VinCross    

 

                                             

6 Burnout Lessons for Ministry Leaders

After talking to countless ministry leaders who are about to fizzle out ... and experiencing burnout myself half a decade or so ago, I am passionate about health in the ranks of church leadership.  So I really savored consulting psychologist Steve Bagi's perspective on this always pressing issue.

Based on his own burnout experience and recently posted at the ministry blog Serving Strong, here are the six lessons that turned his life upside down. 

I'm thinking there's probably a take-home or two for any who are in non-stop, full-throttle mode as they serve Christ and others.

Steve writes:

Lesson One: Burnout was worse than I expected. I call it a “stew of pain” with ...so many different emotions and thoughts swirling around and bubbling to the surface over a very long period of time.

Lesson Two: Burnout took longer to recover from than I had thought. I was out of action for one whole year. That is a long time to be watching day time TV and wearing pjs all day. However, considering that it took me over twenty years to get there, it was never going to be a quick and easy way out.

Lesson Three: Burnout cost a lot more than I had bargained for. The amount of emotional pressure that I placed on my wife and children was considerable. No wonder my sweet wife also went through something similar after I had started to work again. Then, there is the dollar value of being out of action for so long and perhaps working through the possibility of having to change occupations.

Lesson Four: Many churches and church leadership groups do not know what to do with a pastor who is burning out and churches are reluctant to talk about this growing problem and take on their share of the responsibility.

Lesson Five: Burnout doesn’t have to be the end of the road. Although many times I felt that I would never get back up, God, my family, friends, counselling and medication has really helped me to work through it. Although I am no longer in pastoral ministry, I am even more passionate about serving Jesus and sharing the gospel. I have found it easier to talk to people who aren’t Christians, as being someone who has “crashed” makes me more human and vulnerable.

Lesson Six: The growing world-wide problem of pastoral burnout is a symptom of an unhealthy way of “doing church” with regards to the attractional model under which most churches are structured and the role and expectations placed on the “PASTOR and their family”.

What choices do you have to make TODAY to keep from becoming a statistic?

Linda

*** Be pro-active!  More on preventing and treating burnout here ...

- sign photo by Kris Van de Sande -

7 Steps to Conquer Compassion Fatigue

Christian Fatigue Syndrome.  Ministry Burnout.  Exhaustion at every level of our beings.  From being deeply present.  Serving non-stop.  Giving endlessly.  Pouring out ... til there's nothing left except the dregs at the bottom of the well. 

Result? 

A sense of numbness slowly creeps into body, mind, and soul.  Joy, passion, zeal, and purpose fade to a distant memory.

In the Volume 18, No. 1 issue of Christian Counseling Today Magazine, counselor and consultant Eric Scalise observes, "Caregivers and ministry leaders are not only susceptible to increased levels of stress ... when combined with a call to love and serve others, the result is what is commonly referred to as compassion fatigue. 

Compassion fatigue can be understood as a comprehensive exhaustion that takes place over time when one is constantly in the 'giving' position and, as a result, loses his/her ability and motivation to experience joy, satisfaction, or feel and care for others. 

It is sometimes referred to as secondary or vicarious traumatic stress associated with the emotional residue related to the cause of caring.  The traumatic event or crisis did not happen to you directly, but you were close enough to those it did impact that its detrimental effects can still have a causal outcome."

Pastor.  Ministry Leader.  People Helper.  Counselor.

If you're emotionally/physically/mentally/spiritually depleted, you KNOW you've got to get out of that terrifying place.  These guidelines may be helpful as you begin to make choices that will re-fill your well:

- CLARIFY YOUR CALL
Enthusiastic, energetic service can sometimes morph into a 24/7 deal where we mistakenly believe that we must be all things to all people at all times.  If that "messiah complex" has crept in, reflect on your initial calling and review your current job description.  Chances are you are going way over and above the demands of duty.

- ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES
Boundryless people helpers seem unable to say "no."  Do we fear being unloved or unappreciated?  Have we become people pleasers?  Do we fear losing our position or sense of identity?  Begin to understand what drives and motivates you.  Fear is a harsh task-master.

- FIND A SUPPORT TEAM
Healthy people helpers pro-actively build a supportive team around them - a regularly scheduled gathering of other like-minded souls.  God can use that in-person, over the phone, or online group as a huge lifeline in our lives.  We need to be in community with others who will be present for us as we debrief, ask us the difficult questions, share helpful resources, laugh and cry with us, and offer much-needed prayer support.

- EMBRACE YOUR FAMILY & FRIENDS
Begin to re-create focused time with those you love.  Chances are they've been missing you.

- CUT WAY BACK ON YOUR USE OF TECHNOLOGY
Our society has created a culture where we are always on, always available.  For many, there has become an obsessive compulsiveness to our use of screens.  There is no rest for our minds, leaving us with no space just to be still.  It's time to recognize if this has become a problem.

- TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY
Recognize the signs of stress in your body.  See the doctor for a complete checkup.  Take some vitamins.  Cut way back on grazing on that convenient junk food and begin to drink 6-8 glasses of water a day.  Get some additional sleep.  Get outdoors and begin to walk or bike or run.

- TEND TO YOUR SOUL
Times of silence and solitude with God need to become prioritized appointments on our calendars.   The Lover of our souls is the One who's promised to fully restore us {Psalm 23}, and equips us to make decisions that will enable us to "make it our goal to please Him" {2 Corinthians 5:9}.

Running the marathon with you ~
Linda 

- picture by Klaus M -

Trust - The Organizational Glue

My educational background is diverse.  An undergraduate degree in organizational management.  A master's in Christian counseling.  I've studied these subjects extensively, spent hours listening to people who represent these disciplines well, and have great affinity for both specialties. 

They might seem like polar opposites. 

But I think they end up going hand in hand.

Character Trumps Competence, writes Dr. Tim Irwin {Christian Counseling Today, Vol. 17, No. 4}.  Irwin's a corporate psychologist who's consulted with this country's top corporations.  He's got two doctorates and speaks extensively.  In short, he's at the top of his field. 

Yet his premise is simple and direct.

And his thoughts give credence to my strong belief that there can and should be a vibrant marriage between the world of effective organizational management and an emphasis on healthy, respectful relationships. 

Irwin states, "The glue for any organization, regardless of the size or type, is trust.  When people trust each other, it's incredible what they can accomplish. When there's an absence of trust, the organization is often very dysfunctional.  Trust is a function of two characteristics in the leader.


One is competence.  Leaders have to be competent.  They've got to know what they're doing.  They've got to be effective ... to do the right things as a leader.

But, ultimately, it's about character.  When leaders are authentic, humble, courageous, and effectively self-managed, then people will listen to what they have to say. 

Those are the things that ultimately determine the effectiveness of a leader ... when one or more of those four qualities is absent, that leader often fails ... regardless of his or her level of competence."

No matter what kind of organization you lead or serve in, no matter what role you play,  it's not about hard-earned diplomas, corporate philosophies, or business savvy.  In the end it's all about relationships.  Being trustworthy.  Humbly authentic.  And genuinely committed to the well-being of others more than our own agendas, hidden or otherwise. 

The Apostle Paul said it well - "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" {Ephesians 4:29}.

You can have all the executive training you can get your hands on, but the bottom line is this - if you don't do relationships well and if you run over people to get to where you want to go, people will not trust you. 

And if you are not trustworthy, I can guarantee that before long, you'll look around ... and find that no one is following you. 

When we finally stand before God, I really don't think He's going to ask us about the size of our organizations or the amount of money in the till.  Our fancy resumes and grand accomplishments will fade to a distant memory.  I believe that what He'll be interested in is this - did you love well? 

Read 1 John 3 & 4.

Linda

An Avoidable Epidemic

The fall season is just about upon us.  And that's kick-off time for many churches as people return from leisurely summertime schedules.  Expectations run high as church-goers anticipate vibrant new sermon series, calendars jam-packed with cutting-edge programs and activities for their families, and meaningful special events, conferences, classes, and studies.

Sadly, a great number of pastors are not feeling refreshed, renewed, vibrant, or expectant. With month after month of endless ministry and little, if any, extended periods of focused spiritual, emotional, and physical renewal, many report that on every level, they are incredibly drained ... and are just about running on empty.

Ruth Haley Barton reports, "The issue of dangerous levels of depletion among pastors and clergy continues to be a very serious one. An article in the New York Times (Taking a Break From the Lord’s Work) and a post on the Associated Baptist Press site (Study Says Clergy Neglecting Self-Care) describe what could be called an epidemic among Christian leaders. These findings are consistent with recent communications we have received from pastors and Christian leaders who are aware they are not rested enough to face the next ministry season."

The question begs to be asked: What's one thing you can do this week to either prevent or combat this avoidable epidemic in your church?

Let's join together to fight for our pastors' souls ~
Linda

"And now, friends, we ask you to honor those leaders who work so hard for you, who have been given the responsibility of urging and guiding you along in your obedience. Overwhelm them with appreciation and love!"

- 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13 (The Message).

Heading to Seminary

USA TODAY reports that "Filling seminary halls with people in their 20s is hardly new. In the 1950s and early '60s, most students were fresh out of college. But the 1980s and '90s increasingly brought more men and women who had spent two or three decades in business or raising families. For churches, a young-adult face in the pulpit became a rarity. 

Today, theological schools are seeing younger students enroll in M.Div. programs.  At Denver Seminary, the average age has dropped from 43 in 2000 to 32 in 2010."

Read why this matters for your church - and your children and grandkids ...

Linda

Your Church's Health

Come on now, admit it!  If you've ever served as a ministry leader, more often than not, you've measured success by 2 criteria:

BODIES

and

BUCKS

And if your church was especially adventurous (or in deep trouble), you've probably bought into some kind of super-expensive "professional" assessment along the way. 

And you just might have found out that super-expensive does not mean that you'll end up with a miracle cure for what is really ailing your church. 

Who hasn't heard of churches that have been blown out of the water by poorly designed surveys conducted by over-paid, under-trained consultants who do their thing - and provide little, if any, Christ-honoring, pro-active, healing, effective follow-through?

The end result is often a hit and run tragedy.  Thousands of dollars spent.  Wounded souls, bleeding all over the floor.  Fractured relationships, never to be the same again.  Long-dedicated church workers heading for the door.  Disillusioned young people, watching the whole fiasco from the sidelines, who swear they'll never set foot in a church again. 

And the name of Christ is dragged through the mud as word of what happened to "the church down the road" hits the streets.

Don't go there!  Consider something much simpler - a church Apgar score that's "life-giving."  That doesn't focus on bodies - or bucks.

Kevin Miller states, "Focusing on church attendance (alone) turns us into marketers; focusing on an Apgar score turns us into intercessors. And suddenly the "size equals value" noise begins to fade away, because raising your Apgar score one point is no easier for a megachurch than for a house church. It might be harder." 

Read the article and check out your church's health here ...

And it won't cost you a dime!

Let's get healthy.  A dying world is watching ...
Linda

"Christian Fatigue Syndrome"

Pastor.  Church leader.  Staffer.  Director of this or that.  Ministry volunteer.

Exhausted?  Overwhelmed?  Over-scheduled?   Frazzled?  Running on empty?

You might just be suffering from "Christian Fatigue Syndrome."

Taking a few weeks off probably won't cure what ails you. 

You just might need a heart transfusion.  Deep spiritual transformation and growth at the soul level.  Change and healing at the deepest part of who you are.

You can't lead the flock to pastures you haven't yet explored ...

Linda

How's Your Small Group Going?

- I love my small group. And the people in it are the absolute best! -

Les Parrott's got alot of insight into marriage and family relationships. 

His wife, Leslie, too.

And he's also talking about small groups.  And the sometimes difficult task of loving each other well.

Along the way, he's observed that "some people were more difficult, if not impossible, to get along with. We learned that trusted friends could betray us. Authority figures we admired could snub us. A colleague's constant criticism could hurt us. And even family members with important information could leave us out of the loop."

Sound familiar?  Discover how your response can make all the difference!

In one way, shape, or form, you are in some kind of small group.  At home.  At work.  In your community.  Or your church.  And we'd be kidding ourselves if we didn't agree that there's always room for improvement.

The bottom line?  Any improvement must begin with an adjustment in my own attitude.  And agenda.  And agreeing with the Psalmist that I need to continue to ask God to "see if there is some offensive way in me" {Psalm 139:23}.

Go ahead!  Roll up your sleeves!  I promise you that it'll be worth the work.

Linda

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins"

1 Peter 4:8.

Hey, Church Leader!

Are you a leader in your church or ministry? 

Guess what?

1.  It's okay to say no.

2.  It's okay to have uninvolved people.

3.  It's okay not to grow numerically.

Check out these truths that just might set you (and your church) free ...

Linda

"Fluff is Out, Depth is In"

Women's Ministry.

The good news? The next generation is interested in substantial, deep, relational experiences that draw them into a more passionate relationship with Christ and provide opportunities to reach beyond their own walls.

The bad news? Change is coming and for some, change hurts. If we've been in leadership, we might feel personally attacked as our ideas and methods are questioned. But if we want to meet the heart-felt needs of the next generation, we're most likely going to have to completely re-evaluate and re-haul what we do and why we do it.

In her insightful article, Brave New Women: The Transformation of Women's Ministry in the 21st Century Culture, Meagan Taylor shows us clearly that a new day is coming in women's ministry. "Fluff is Out, Depth is In." Younger women are busier than ever, more work outside the home, and they are selective to what they turn their energies to.

They are rejecting the traditional, mandatory events that have been the bread and butter of women's ministries in the past ... the teas, retreats, game nights, craft-parties, and events that have little purpose beside the event itself.

They are looking for heart-changing spiritual formation opportunities and life-altering relationships. And they are seeking the communities and gatherings that will take them there.

If you're interested in where women's ministry is heading in the days ahead, be sure to download this valuable resource. I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see how this vital lifeline evolves and unfolds!

Applauding our daughters' passion for the deeper walk ... and hoping they'll still have time for a cup of tea together ~

Linda

Hospital or Courtroom?

"How wonderful it would be if depressed people coming to the community of faith were healed rather than hurt. Instead they often receive a scorn that compounds their woundedness.

Stop stigmatizing the pain of depression, and stop pretending it away. Allow people to be honest. Be a hospital rather than a courtroom. If you are depressed, be patient and seek help - both spiritual and medical. Almost certainly you will one day feel better. If you know people who are depressed, compassionately walk with them until they are again whole."
- Swenson -

Your church - a safe haven, a refuge, a place of hope? Or a place of intolerance, judgement, and condemnation?

Arising from a time of discouragement and depression, David writes, "I will exalt You, O Lord, for You lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. O Lord my God, I called to You for help and You healed me. O Lord, You brought me up from the grave; You spared me from going down into the pit ..."
- Psalm 30:1-3

May God enable the leaders of the church to become the biggest proponents of physical, emotional, and spiritual healing ~
Linda

"Manipulative Politics & Power Plays"

"When we descend into superficiality and miss God's agenda of heart transformation, we ultimately resort to our own personal agendas in our churches and ministries ... Once we are focused on our own priorities, we stoop into manipulative politics and power plays, pitting our own personal agendas against one another or against other groups of believers with whom we disagree.

These kind of pharisaic manipulations can be very damaging to the well being of a church. No wonder so many people have become disillusioned with churches today! They simply find no credibility in a group of people who are caught up in this superficial nonsense - especially when they deal with it on a regular basis everywhere else, in addition to church, throughout the week."
- Hobbes -

"If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. The acts of the sinful nature are obvious ... discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy ... those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God"

- Galatians 5:15,19-21.

Observing & Grieving the Damage Done ~

Linda

"Pooped Pastors"

"I’m no longer a pastor but I haven’t been away from it for so long that I’ve forgotten ...

The discouragement

The battles that I sometimes won and sometimes lost

The hypocrisy I often felt in thinking that my being a pastor was insane

The times when I didn’t know what I was doing and pretended that I did

The criticism that often came from those who I thought were friends

The 24/7 schedule with work that was never done

The people who left my church because they “weren’t being fed”

The blank page late Saturday night and my reminding God about the sermon

The incredible guilt over my family and my ministry

The loneliness

The fear of discovery

The neurotics who hated me

The congregational meetings when I was sure it was coming apart

The hard road of authenticity when everything I did worked against it

The efforts at humility when people thought more of me than was justified

The questions about whether I and what I did even mattered"

- Brown -

Designed to be a "safe place" for pastors to truly be themselves, PoopedPastors.com is a comprehensive, interactive site packed with a vast library of resources. Video workshops. Confidential forums. Insightful perspectives from a wide variety of ministry leaders that speak to what's really true about you.

Pastors - do check out this site ... and rejoice! You're not alone in the battle for souls we delicately call "the ministry."

Church members - if you care about your pastor, please do forward this post on to him with words of affirmation, encouragement, and blessing. Your thoughtfulness will be appreciated. Probably more than you'll ever know.

Walking alongside those who minister to our souls ~
Linda

3 Keys to Loving Interaction in the Church

"Our conscience testifies that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially in our relations with you, in the HOLINESS and SINCERITY that are from God. We have done so not according to worldly wisdom, but according to God's GRACE"
- 2 Corinthians 1:12.

I read this verse today with new eyes.

Holiness. Sincerity. Grace.

These are the 3 keys to our interactions with others - most particularly in the family we call "the church." Paul tells us to lose the "worldly wisdom." Forget all this business model stuff that's infiltrated our midst. Ultimately, it's not working because it doesn't deal with the heart. It's taken us in an ineffective and unedifying direction.

Sad, unfortunate stories abound. Hearts are broken. Trust is lost. People turn from the faith. Priceless relationships are shattered. The church's testimony is tragically marred and irrevocably altered as those outside the walls sit back, observe our behavior, and nail us as hypocrites.

Why? Because we didn't love one another well.

The solution? We need to get back to Scriptural basics.

Holiness. Sincerity. Grace. Character shows through. These attributes can't just be drummed up. They don't evolve from a hot new program or a snazzy game plan. They are about relationship. First, with God. And then, with others.

#1. HOLINESS - If I have any holiness at all, it is because He's changed my heart. Made it new. My intents and agendas slowly but surely lose their self-protective, self-centered focus. They become Christ-focused. They are pure. And powerful.

The goal? To please and honor God. Not myself.

#2. SINCERITY - No masks. Genuine and transparent clear through. No phony double-speak. My "yes" is "yes." My "no" is "no." I'm the same person on Saturday night as I am on Sunday morning.

The goal? I refuse to say one thing to one person and another thing to the next.

#3. GRACE - Unmerited favor. I don't deserve all that God has lavishly extended to me. I don't deserve who He is, what He has provided. But I accept it with joy. And because I have been forgiven much, I can extend that same generosity of spirit to those He brings into my life. I become a servant.

The goal? I don't keep a record of wrongs. I am able to extend lavish favor and forgiveness. Gladly.

Journaling, discovering, reflecting ~
Linda

"... I am not writing you a new command but one we have had from the beginning. I ask that we love one another. And this is love: that we walk in obedience to His commands. As you have heard from the beginning, His command is that you walk in love" - 2 John 5-6.