People 101 : : Day 25 : : Triple List-Generator

At any given time, I've got 3 lists going. There's one on my desk at home.

A second in my appointment book.

And jottings on a white board I share with my husband that's adhered to the fridge.

{To clarify that last sentence - it's the board that's attached to the fridge.  Not my husband!}

Anyway ... writing stuff down energizes me.  It clears my mind so I can indulge in more important things.  Like meeting up with friends for brunch or lunch or afternoon tea.  Heading outdoors for a much-needed stroll.  Curling up with a good book and a hefty snack.  Wandering around online.  Or zoning out, glued to the latest CHOPPED or DOWNTON ABBEY.

For all us prone-to-be scattered thinkers, lists in any way, shape, or form aren't even an option any more, right?  And you've gotta admit that there's few things in life more satisfying than grabbing that list and crossing off yet another long neglected, finally completed task.  So, before you forget, grab this pdf and ...

BOOK IT

 

DO IT

 

FIX IT

 

SEE IT

 

READ IT

 

BUY IT 

 

RESEARCH IT

 

*   slightly edited version of a popular January 2011 post   *

 

~     ~     ~    ~     ~

 

The Multiple Giveaways!

Each comment you leave this month puts you in the running for one of the gifts we'll be sharing with our readers on October 31st {9pm eastern, US and Canada only.}  We'll post the list of winners at that time and then it will be 'first come, first choice' for these readers to claim their prizes!  Limit 1 comment/day, please!

Subscribe to Blog

4 Reasons Why I'm Jumping Back Into 31 Days

31 Days Posts & Giveaways

The Nester's 31 Days Gang

 

AND

 

WE ARE THAT FAMILY

 

People 101 : : Day 23 : : Kingdom Kids

 

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

One by one they come to the Savior of their souls.  Young ones, the older ones, accepting His gift of salvation and life eternal.  They become children of the King.

Alexa in August.  Brooke, just this week.

Thank You, powerful Spirit of God, for drawing them to Yourself.  The angels are rejoicing big time.  And oh, sweet Jesus,  so am I ...

 

~     ~     ~     ~     ~

 

The Multiple Giveaways!

Each comment you leave this month puts you in the running for one of the gifts we'll be sharing with our readers on October 31st {9 pm eastern, US and Canada only}!  We'll post the list of winners at that time and then it will be 'first come, first choice' for these readers to claim their prizes!  Limit 1 comment/day, please!

Subscribe to the Blog

4 Reasons Why I'm Jumping Back Into 31 Days

31 Days Posts & Giveaways

The Nester's 31 Days Gang



People 101 : : Day 15 : : Childlike Souls

 

'We all need a place to be a child, no matter how old we are.  Young children who have been well cared for seem to have an instinctual trust in the unconditional acceptance of those who love them, and so they are able to let down and relax when they need to.  They don't yet know how to put on airs.  They don't try to make things look better than they are.  They haven't yet learned how to hold back their squeals of delight, their expressions of need or desire, their tears of sadness or pain.

Children seem to be uninhibited about expressing whatever is true of them in the present moment.  Sometimes it's cute and adorable; often it is less so.  But part of being a child is being relaxed and at home with yourself, with the people around you, with life itself. 

And so it is with the soul at rest in God.  We do not put on airs.  We do not make things seem better than they are.  We do not pretend to be someone or something we are not.  We do not hold back squeals of delight, expressions of need or desire, tears of pain, sadness or disappointment. 

In times of solitude, the soul rests in God by simply being with God with what is.'
- Ruth Haley Barton, Invitation to Solitude and Silence

 

~     ~     ~     ~     ~

The Multiple Book Giveaways!

Each comment you leave this month puts you in the running for one of the books we'll be sharing with our readers on October 31st {9 pm eastern, US and Canada only}.  We'll post the list of winners at that time and then it will be 'first come, first choice' for these readers to claim their prizes!  Limit 1 comment/day, please!

Subscribe to the Blog

4 Reasons Why I'm Jumping Back Into 31 Days

31 Days Posts & Book Giveaways

The Nester's 31 Days Gang

Sharing Solitude with Beth & Emily & Laura

People 101 : : Day 4 : : Jesus-Lovin' Schoolgirl

Back-to-school night it was.  That hour and a half when parents cram the halls, paperwork in hand, wedging tired bodies into tiny seats, hoping against hope that the teacher/student connection will be a win/win, praying that the year will be relatively painless for all.

 

Artwork and essays line the freshly painted cinder block walls.  And the young mama spies her daughter's creation.  Tears of laughter, pools of joy spill over as she reads her daughter's writing, her bold, yet oh-so-natural testimony carefully printed out for all the world to read.

'I'm lucky to have a best friend like Jesus.  We have some things in common like how we look.  We both have white skin and we both like to read the Bible. And something we like to do for fun is play with little kids.  Even though we are alike in ways we are also different in ways.  He has shorter hair than me and I have longer hair than him.  He lives in Heaven and I live on earth.  I'm shy but he is brave.'

 

This is what Back-To-School Night looks like.  In a public school.  Where an 8 year old girl can tell the world that her best friend is Jesus. 

 

Yes, I'm overflowing with gratitude that Jesus is alive and well in our neighborhood schools.  But I only wish that I would be as courageous as my granddaughter in proclaiming loud and clear, with not an apology in sight, that Jesus is my best friend, too.

 



 

~       ~       ~       ~       ~

The Multiple Book Giveaways!

Each comment you leave this month puts you in the running for one of the books we'll be sharing with our readers with on October 31st {9 pm eastern, US and Canada only}.  Limit 1 comment/day, please!   Details to come.

Subscribe to the Blog

Creekside's 31 Days Index

The Nester's 31 Days Gang

Five Minute Friday 

4 Reasons Why I'm Jumping Back Into 31 Days

Last year was my first 31 Days experience.  And trust me, it won't be my last.  If you missed out, here's what it looked like around this neck of the woods as we dove head first into awesome relationships.

I LOVED this!  It was a stretch to produce read-worthy material day in and out.  I persevered through the deaths of two people I loved.  And along the way I met lots of great bloggers.  And wonder of wonders, this blog began to take wings and soar.

So, yes, I'm doing the 31 Day Challenge in October.  I'm not 100% sure what I'll be calling the whole thing, but I've got a pretty good idea where we'll be going.  And I'm ready to roll.

Want to join me?  If you're not quite sure if you're up to it, let me encourage you to give it a go. 

Why?

1.  We're built for community, we crave it, we want to be part of something bigger than ourselves.  Focusing on this challenge with well over a thousand other brave souls?  So cool ... and lots of fun! 

2.  Each one of us has something uniquely substantial to bring to the table.  Your passions, your writing style, your subject matter, your creative juices?  Most likely quite different than the girl next door. 

3.  It's refreshing to climb out of our worn out comfort zones, break away from the old routines, and let ourselves be stretched to produce more than we think we can.  We're talking growth here!

4.  Most of us need to have our borders expanded and go beyond reading what's familiar.  Exploring new horizons with diverse bloggers from other cultures, leanings, interests, writing styles?   Good stuff.

Still not so sure?  Here's some helpful tips from The Nester herself, the beloved creative ringleader of this whole event.

Have you done 31 Days before?  Are you going there this year?

 

 

 

* logo credit

* connecting with Laura  .  Jen  .  Amy  .  Courtney  .  Kristen

31 Days of Awesome Relationships : : Day 30 : : This Is How We Do Family

 

*      *      *

Don't miss the chance to win a $25 Applebee's gift card or a $10 i-tunes gift card! 
Each comment you leave this month puts you in the running for this October 31st
{9 pm eastern, WEATHER PERMITTING} giveaway!

Click here for the links to each of the 31 posts. Subscribe to the blog at The Delivery on the top right and future posts will come directly to you!

31 Days of Awesome Relationships : : Day 28 : : The Gardener

'I am the true vine, and My Father is the Gardener.  He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful'

- John 15:1. 

. . .  photo by my niece, Jessica Nguyen Davidson,

in Macedonia with the Peace Corps . . .

*    *    *

Don't miss the chance to win a $25 Applebee's gift card or a $10 i-tunes gift card! Each comment you leave this month puts you in the running for this October 31st {9 pm eastern} giveaway!

Click here for the links to each of the 31 posts.
Subscribe to the blog at The Delivery on the top right and future posts will come directly to you!



31 Days of Awesome Relationships : : Day 26 : : The Thanksgiving Chair

'Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus'

- 1 Thessalonians 5:18.

*     *     *

Don't miss the chance to win a $25 Applebee's gift card or a $10 i-tunes gift card!  Each comment you leave this month puts you in the running for this October 31st {9 pm eastern} giveaway!

Click here for the links to each of the 31 posts.  Subscribe to the blog at The Delivery on the top right and future posts will come directly to you!

31 Days of Awesome Relationships : : Day 23 : : In Memory of Lindsay Alan Stoll

LINDSAY ALAN STOLL

1923 - 2012

steadfast servant of God

loving husband for 60 years & faithful, patient caregiver

dad of three godly men

grandfather of two & great-grandfather of six

wise, respected church leader & trustworthy Bible teacher

committed ... frugal ... stubborn ... kind ... consistent

He never saw anything that was so broken it couldn't be fixed.

His life shaped and molded the extraordinary man who is my husband.



31 Days of Awesome Relationships : : Day 22 : : Her Brother's Heart is Broken

Sandra in North Carolina writes ...
I am trying to minister to my brother.  His wife of 25 years has asked him for a divorce.   She said that he had changed ... that now the age difference between them was too much ... She wants him to move out.

I have no idea what all of the problems are.  I know he has been faithful.  They have seen a lawyer.  The lawyer wants them to sell the house, take the two paychecks and split them evenly.  The lawyer said that until the house sells they could live one week in/one week out of the house (trading parents--Dad in one week/Mom in one week). 

It is such a mess!  His daughter's birthday is in exactly one month. She will be 14.  He doesn't want to miss out on daily being part of the kids' lives!  He doesn't want to be a part time father, doesn't want to move out, doesn't want to separate.

How on earth do I minister to him?  to his kids?  I am trying not to say anything except to ask him to pray before he moves and know that this is what God wants.  Can it truly be what God wants??  There are a 1000 things that I could say, none of which would be what God wants me to say.

How do I advise my older brother when his heart is broken?  He said that he had lost his best friend ... and now she is asking him to leave his kids too.  I am praying for her to come to her knees and see what Jesus wants her to do.

Please tell me how to help.  I can't get the faces of this broken family out of my mind and heart!!

My response ...

Hi Sandra ~

I am so sorry for this tragedy that is unfolding in your family.  Sadly, your story is not unusual, but that doesn't make the pain and heartache any less real.  Most especially for your brother's children.

Separation and divorce not only impact the immediate family but everyone else who loves and cares about each of them.  The tragic tentacles reach into the lives of relatives, friends, and others in a church family and neighborhood. 

And yes, although we hate to hear it, there are always two sides to every story.  And reconciliation takes two people willing to roll up their sleeves and do the work of rebuilding a marriage.  Without that commitment, it's just not going to happen without direct intervention from God Himself.

I love when you wrote, 'There are a 1000 things that I could say, none of which would be what God wants me to say.'  You are so wise in not only understanding what you want to add to the already volatile mix, but also using discernment and self-control in being still with your words, most particularly around the children.

You might find that journaling will allow you to unpack all that's assaulting you, and that leaving your swirling emotions with God will allow you to be calm, wise, and gracious in your dealings with the family.

Everyone on both 'sides' of this misfortune is going to have an opinion, free advice, and their own perspective.  You can stand out in the crowd and be most effective by making concentrated prayer for each member of your brother's family, including his wife, a priority for you.  Are you able to commit to 5, 10, 15 minutes a day?

We are called to 'be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry' {James 1:19}.  If you are able to be a safe, gentle person for your brother and his children, and provide a quiet nurturing space in your home for them to retreat to, this will be a huge gift to them.  I would also encourage you to be gracious and merciful if/when you run into your sister-in-law, remembering that she will continue to be the mother of your brother's children.

We all carry a bucket of kerosene and a bucket of water to every relationship blaze we encounter along the way.  As you watch this family go through uncertainty and pain, I encourage you to make the choice to dispense only what will put out the flames of hurt and anguish.  A 'gentle and quiet spirit' is often the most healing gift that can be given.  That your brother and his children know that you are a loving, supportive presence for them, a stable, safe harbor during the storm, is a lavish, Christ-honoring gift. 

And as this trauma continues to unfold, please be sure to do what you need to do to stay healthy and sane ... and not too drawn into all that's swirling around your brother's family.

How blessed they are that you're there ... 

*    *    *

Don't miss the chance to win a $25 Applebee's gift card or a $10 i-tunes gift card! Each comment you leave this month puts you in the running for this October 31st {9 pm eastern} giveaway!

Click here for the links to each of the 31 posts.
Subscribe to the blog at The Delivery on the top right and future posts will come directly to you!

^ green mailbox by Robes-Pierre



31 Days of Awesome Relationships : : Day 21 : : Praise to the Lover of Our Souls

'Blessed are You, God of Israel, our Father

from of old and forever.

To You, O God, belong the greatness and the might,

the glory, the victory, the majesty, the splendor;

Yes!  Everything in heaven, everything on earth;

the kingdom all Yours!  You've raised Yourself high over all.

Riches and glory come from You,

You're ruler over all;

You hold strength and power in the palm of Your hand

to build up and strengthen all.

And here we are, O God, our God, giving thanks to You,

praising Your splendid Name'

- 1 Chronicles 29:10-13 {The Message}.

 

~ An autumn sunset on Cape Cod Bay ~

Eastham, Massachusetts

September, 2012

 

*     *     *

Don't miss the chance to win a $25 Applebee's gift card or a $10 i-tunes gift card!  Each comment you leave this month puts you in the running for this October 31st {9 pm eastern} giveaway!

Click here for the links to each of the 31 posts.
Subscribe to the blog at The Delivery on the top right and future posts will come directly to you!

 



31 Days of Awesome Relationships : : Day 16 : : 3 Words Your Teen Longs to Hear

Can you guess what they are? 

The three simple words that your teen yearns to hear straight from your lips, your heart?

 

Clue - they're not what you think ...

John Trent's all about Strong Families.  And in a recent issue of Christian Counseling Connection, this wise counselor writes, 'My friend, Dr. Joe White, is the head of Kanakuk Kamps in Branson, Missouri.  Each summer, thousands of teenagers attend these incredible camps.  A few years ago, Joe had his staff give each camper a survey.  On it was one simple question: 'What would you most like to hear from your parents?'

The answer to that question from several thousand high school students surprised the staff.  In writing the survey, they were all but certain that the vast majority of teens would say they wanted to hear three words, 'I love you.'  However, that response came in a distant second.  What was first? 

It was three words, all right, but these three, 'I am sorry.'

Tough words for a parent, grandparent, spouse or co-worker to say, but wonderful if we are serious about being people who 'untie' knots and build strong families ...'

Powerful food for thought.  I'd add three more. 

'Will you forgive me?'

*    *    *

Don't miss the chance to win

a $25 Applebee's gift card or a $10 i-tunes gift card!

Each comment you leave this month puts you in the running for this October 31st giveaway!

Click here for the links to each of the 31 posts.
Subscribe to the blog at The Delivery on the top right and future posts will come directly to you!

 

* photo by Tapas Biswas

 



31 Days of Awesome Relationships : : Day 13 : : Obnoxious Fans

We've all seen and heard them at our kids' games.  Screaming and shouting at the pint size players out on the field.  Relentlessly demanding that coaches and refs reconsider decisions.  What started out as positive, wholesome, character building activity disintegrates into a dazzling display that turns heads.  But it's demeaning.  And embarrassing.

And guess what?  The kids hate it. 

 

1/3

That's the number of kids who wish their parents wouldn't attend their athletic events, because they yell too much, make them nervous, and/or put pressure on them to win, according to Real Simple magazine and i9 Sports, a national franchise of youth leagues and camps.

How 'bout we ease up on the kids?  And maybe find a more legitimate way to live our our own unfulfilled dreams? 

What runs through their minds when they hear this verbal ranting and raving? 

I.  AM.  SUCH.  A.  LOSER.

 

or

 

I.  AM.  NEVER.  ENOUGH. 

 

or maybe

 

  I.  AM.  SO.  OUT.  OF.  HERE. 

 

or perhaps

 

I'LL.  NEVER.  BE.  ABLE.  TO.  MAKE.  IT.  ON.  MY.  OWN.

Rather than making a spectacle of ourselves and putting unending pressure on the kids to live something we never achieved, maybe we can put the focus back on developing respectful team interaction, building character, and staying healthy.

Just my 2 cents ~

*    *    * 

Don't miss the chance to win

a $25 Applebee's gift card or a $10 i-tunes gift card!

Be sure to leave a comment to enter this October 31st giveaway!

Click here for the links to each of the 31 posts.
Subscribe to the blog at The Delivery on the top right and future posts will come directly to you! 

 

* photo by Crashmaster007

31 Days of Awesome Relationships : : Day 9 : : A Pastor's Wife Shares Her Heartache

Back on Day 1, I invited our 31 Day readers to shoot me a quick email with a question about some kind of relationship issue ... a dilemma, a choice, or a challenge sitting right in front of you.  Within hours, this letter found its way to my inbox ...

How do you close one chapter and move onto the next ... not getting bitter and hateful when you get dropped as a friend?

I had a group I thought I was close with ... and I went thru a hard time in my marriage -- and my (youth pastor) hubby had to resign from his job so we could go get help ... My husband and I have gotten to a great place & God has been so good to restore.

Problem is, we are still in town so reminders and old friends are everywhere ... of those, I talk to 2 girls.  That huge group ... just shunned us. That hurt as much as the stuff I was going thru in my marriage.

For a while I was so angry. First at God, but then he showed me that I was so hurt because the church didn't act like the church ... the very people who should have been bearers of grace and compassion and love, weren't.  

I don't want it to still hurt, but it does. I invested and poured out my life for 4 1/2 years into those relationships, and then we had to leave and it's like we never existed or made a difference or were important to anyone.

 

My response ...

 

Thank you, A, for your note.  It sounds like alot has happened in quick order and it's left your heart broken, your head spinning, and your life empty.

 

First of all, I am truly sorry for the challenge that's hit your marriage, and thankful that God has begun to bring hope and healing there.  These difficulties surely have been magnified because your husband is a pastor.  Any choices or decisions that have been made within your marriage have not only affected your family, but impacted your church family as well.

 

That has, most likely, left your friends feel like the rug has pulled out from under them, and left them feeling confused, disappointed, hurt.  They probably aren't quite sure what to do with all these painful emotions.  And yes, the result would be exactly as you've written ... they have pulled away.  They are grieving the loss of their pastor and his wife, their church family as it was, and the warm, safe experience of an intact community.

 

In order for you to go on without bitterness, you must continue to do what you've already started to do ... grieve the lost dream of a picture perfect marriage and the departure of your church family and friends.  While so much of what has occurred has been out of your control, making the choice to refuse to haul this painful stuff around is a pivotal decision that, with God's strength, you have the power to make.  

 

A few things that might help ...

 

1.  Journaling can be a huge tool to help you unpack all the very real emotions that are swirling around right now.  Many of us begin this spiritual discipline when we've just about hit bottom.  This is a great grief, and there's no better Person to walk you through this valley than the Lover of your soul.  Invite God right into the middle of your crisis and name your hurts and the feelings of abandonment so they don't get stuffed down into your soul and begin to form bitter roots that will only lead to bitter fruit {Hebrews 12:15}.  

 

2.  I'd encourage you and your husband to be involved in some ongoing marriage counseling so that you can explore the roots of what led to this situation, and make plans for improved communication in the future.  There might be the need for one or both of you to benefit from individual counseling, as well.

 

3.  You mentioned that you are still in touch with two friends.  See if you are able to re-cultivate those relationships outside the church setting, focusing on all the common interests and enjoyable activities that you've shared together.  Please steer clear of conversation about anything to do with the church, and see if you can foster a new, richer bond.

 

4.  This isn't easy, but it's time to begin to expand your borders and discover some new relationships that will bring you hope, cultivate some hidden potential, or simply get you out of the house.  If you ever wanted to take a class, volunteer, join a book club or Bible study, now's the time.  I'm assuming that you are looking for a new church family.  I trust that God will give you the gracious gift of 'wounded healers' there who will warmly welcome you into a new community.  My prayer is that you will discover those 'bearers of grace and compassion and love' that you so long for.

5.  This final step could be the most powerful in your healing.  Would you commit to praying for your former church family for just 1 minute a day?  Chances are that many of those you poured out your life for are experiencing some of the same emotions that you are.
 

Warmly ~

 

 

 

 

 

P.S.  That Day 1 welcome mat is still out ... feel free to write to me here.

*     *     *

Don't miss the chance to win

a $25 Applebee's gift card or a $10 i-tunes gift card!

Be sure to leave a comment to enter this October 31st giveaway!

Click here for the links to each of the 31 posts.

 

* orange mailbox by VinCross    

 

                                             

31 Days of Awesome Relationships : : Day 5 : : Welcome to Creekside

'Welcome back!'  My voice rings strong, my words are true as a familiar face comes through the door.  My heart is smiling and I know that the joy I feel in seeing a client entering the Creekside door is evident on my face.

Because the counseling relationship is all about acceptance.  Safety.  Validation.  Grace.  Healing.  Lifechange.  Growth.  At this quiet, peace-filled place, where a rolling green lawn leads down to the gently flowing Wappingers Creek.  Flowers bloom, planted by generous hands.  A fountain flows, the sound of water soothes.  Benches line the patio outside the entrance.

The weary, the worn, the brokenhearted, the grieving - this place has been set aside for you to come and be authentically who you are.  To weep, to process, to reflect, to work through the pain you've stuffed forever.  We work hard at being present for you, letting you know that you matter, that we care.  And that there is hope because of Jesus.

Because He, too, wept.  And He truly gets your sorrow, your desperation, your feelings of abandonment.  And longs to see your broken spirit revived and healed.

*  *  *

 

Don't forget the October 31st giveaway of a $25 Applebee's gift card and a $10 i-tunes gift card!

Leave a comment to enter!

Click here for the links to each of the 31 posts.