On Your Last Nerve?

 



Why Pray When You Can Worry?

Huh?  What'd she say?

But this is how we live, isn't it ... we find it near impossible to give our most troublesome scenarios to God.  Instead we stew in our own cataclysmic fear.  Wring our already overwrought hands.  Anxiously waiting for the other shoe to drop, we automatically imagine the worst case scenario.  And our relationships, our health and emotional sanity, and our weakened spiritual perspective take huge hits, right and left.

Mmm ... what would life look like if we grabbed hold of all that wasted energy and invested it into some day in/day out, heavy-duty conversations with the One who holds our future in His loving, wisdom-laden heart?

 

Scroll down for Mary DeMuth's super, no holds barred prayer!  Go ahead and keep a few copies where you can reach for one at a moment's notice.  And then don't think twice before you grab a pen and fill in those blanks whenever a worry, a burden, or a fear comes to call. 

Before it takes control over you. 

And please do pass this gem along to those you've commiserated with in the past.   Chances are you're not the only one who longs to lay those heart-wrenching burdens down and find some sweet, blessed relief ...

 



7 Steps to Conquer Compassion Fatigue

Christian Fatigue Syndrome.  Ministry Burnout.  Exhaustion at every level of our beings.  From being deeply present.  Serving non-stop.  Giving endlessly.  Pouring out ... til there's nothing left except the dregs at the bottom of the well. 

Result? 

A sense of numbness slowly creeps into body, mind, and soul.  Joy, passion, zeal, and purpose fade to a distant memory.

In the Volume 18, No. 1 issue of Christian Counseling Today Magazine, counselor and consultant Eric Scalise observes, "Caregivers and ministry leaders are not only susceptible to increased levels of stress ... when combined with a call to love and serve others, the result is what is commonly referred to as compassion fatigue. 

Compassion fatigue can be understood as a comprehensive exhaustion that takes place over time when one is constantly in the 'giving' position and, as a result, loses his/her ability and motivation to experience joy, satisfaction, or feel and care for others. 

It is sometimes referred to as secondary or vicarious traumatic stress associated with the emotional residue related to the cause of caring.  The traumatic event or crisis did not happen to you directly, but you were close enough to those it did impact that its detrimental effects can still have a causal outcome."

Pastor.  Ministry Leader.  People Helper.  Counselor.

If you're emotionally/physically/mentally/spiritually depleted, you KNOW you've got to get out of that terrifying place.  These guidelines may be helpful as you begin to make choices that will re-fill your well:

- CLARIFY YOUR CALL
Enthusiastic, energetic service can sometimes morph into a 24/7 deal where we mistakenly believe that we must be all things to all people at all times.  If that "messiah complex" has crept in, reflect on your initial calling and review your current job description.  Chances are you are going way over and above the demands of duty.

- ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES
Boundryless people helpers seem unable to say "no."  Do we fear being unloved or unappreciated?  Have we become people pleasers?  Do we fear losing our position or sense of identity?  Begin to understand what drives and motivates you.  Fear is a harsh task-master.

- FIND A SUPPORT TEAM
Healthy people helpers pro-actively build a supportive team around them - a regularly scheduled gathering of other like-minded souls.  God can use that in-person, over the phone, or online group as a huge lifeline in our lives.  We need to be in community with others who will be present for us as we debrief, ask us the difficult questions, share helpful resources, laugh and cry with us, and offer much-needed prayer support.

- EMBRACE YOUR FAMILY & FRIENDS
Begin to re-create focused time with those you love.  Chances are they've been missing you.

- CUT WAY BACK ON YOUR USE OF TECHNOLOGY
Our society has created a culture where we are always on, always available.  For many, there has become an obsessive compulsiveness to our use of screens.  There is no rest for our minds, leaving us with no space just to be still.  It's time to recognize if this has become a problem.

- TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY
Recognize the signs of stress in your body.  See the doctor for a complete checkup.  Take some vitamins.  Cut way back on grazing on that convenient junk food and begin to drink 6-8 glasses of water a day.  Get some additional sleep.  Get outdoors and begin to walk or bike or run.

- TEND TO YOUR SOUL
Times of silence and solitude with God need to become prioritized appointments on our calendars.   The Lover of our souls is the One who's promised to fully restore us {Psalm 23}, and equips us to make decisions that will enable us to "make it our goal to please Him" {2 Corinthians 5:9}.

Running the marathon with you ~
Linda 

- picture by Klaus M -

Got Margins?

GOT MARGINS?

Healthy, life-giving space around your activities, your commitments, your thoughts.

Time to regroup, recalibrate, refresh, reenergize, reconnect with your Creator.

Peace, stillness, balance, wholeness, rest.

80% - 90% of all doctors' visits are stress-related. Read on and discover why:

"Whether we like it or not, we were all created with limits. However, we also live in a fast-paced, push-button, instant everything world. The significant impact of technological progress has increased the risk for overload - living beyond our limits in every area of life. Consequently, our marginlessness - the space between our load and our limits - is shrinking for far too many of us. This often results in anxiousness, discouragement, feeling 'driven' in most of our activities, and finally, a pervading sense of exhaustion across multiple fronts."
- Ohlschlager & Scalise

LET'S GET STARTED

Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives

The Overload Syndrome: Learning to Live Within Your Limits

Restoring Margin to Overloaded Lives: A Workbook Based on Margin and The Overload Syndrome

A Minute of Margin: Restoring Balance to Busy Lives 180 Daily Reflections

Don't wait until your body, mind, or spirit collapses ~
Linda

"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed ..."
- Luke 5:16

"Pastimes Count"

STRESS.

It's slowly but surely beginning to define life for many of the people I'm talking with. Anxiety imperceptibly builds. Wallets are getting leaner. The flu season is upon us. Pressure to perform at the workplace is increasing. The holidays are around the corner. Relationships are getting strained. A good night sleep is harder to come by. We laugh less and less. Healthy perspectives on life and love and God seem to allude us.

WHAT TO DO?

A first step toward stress relief might be as simple as grabbing your coat and going for a brisk walk. On a regular basis. Or resurrecting an abandoned hobby. Or beginning to explore something that's always interested you.

When I ask people what they do to "play," many of them look back at me with a blank expression. They haven't a clue. Perhaps it's time to discover what that looks like for you - what's fun. What energizes your spirit. What makes you relax. And laugh.

As the days grow shorter and the weather becomes colder, let's agree to consider some positive alternatives to the way most of us handle stress and boredom, especially during the long winter months. The mindless eating of junk food. Zoning out in front of the TV. Aimlessly trolling the internet.

Been there. Done that.

Read on ... and discover why "pastimes count!"

Linda

Stressed? 3 Questions ...

"It's not stress per se, that can cause a problem in the body. It is how we perceive it and deal with it that can cause the problem." - Northrup

TO PONDER:

What's stressing you out most?

How have you been reacting to it?

What can you do to thoughtfully respond rather than automatically react?

Linda

Dear Lord - I pray for those who are overwhelmed who are reading this post today. I pray that You will use these 3 simple questions to help them see that they have a choice in how they handle the huge challenges that they are facing. May they reach out to the only One who can bring real peace. And I pray that you will equip them to walk through this storm with renewed confidence as they realize that You are there with them - and that You will never leave. Stretch and grow them in this time in ways that might not have been possible if life was easy.

In the Strong Name of Jesus, Amen.

Worry, Worry, Worry

What are you so worried about?

The kids, your checkbook, your job, your health. The weather, your parents, the church, the news. Gas prices, the food bill, the neighbors, the traffic, the terrorists, the past. Your friends, your death, your taxes, the future. Etc ...


Noted Christian counselor Archibald Hart talks about how to turn worry into action -


"Excessive worrying is a habit of your mind, and you need to break this habit without denying that something may be wrong. The most constructive way to do this is to work out what part of your worry is useless and what part should be converted into an emotion called concern.

Excessive worry that never moves you to take action is unhealthy. On the other hand, being concerned about a problem is healthy because you understand what you can and cannot do to deal with it.


How is concern different from worry?


Simply put, worry is that kind of unproductive mental activity that keeps thoughts revolving endlessly in our minds, creating stress in our bodies.


Concern, on the other hand, is a kind of mental activity that focuses on a problem with a view to taking some action that resolves it."


"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes" - Matthew 6:33-34 (The Message).

It's in His most capable hands ~

Linda