In Memory of John Halliday Blackie

It is with greatest sorrow that I share the news that the day after we moved here to Cape Cod, my beloved Dad died suddenly, quickly, peacefully.

We are crushed.  Tim and I were so looking forward to this season of doing life with him and my mom.  But even in the midst of the shock and the whirlwind of decisions and phone calls and planning is that ever-present peace that passes understanding.  

God knows.  He loves us so.  He cares.  He cradles us close.  He bears our grief, he carries our sorrows.

I share with you a tribute I wrote to Dad two years ago.  And the obituary and memorial service arrangements are below.

Please, my friends, pray for our family.

      *      *      *

 

June 2013 ...

I hold you close and stretch my arm way out, camera in hand.  We're still making memories whenever we can.  And I want to capture this celebration before we dive into great huge bowls of chocolate ice cream on the most gorgeous Cape Cod day ever.  Before we laugh the sunny afternoon away as we fill the newly painted window boxes with multi-hued petunias and patch the driveway and cut the rhubarb.  Before we sit and watch the birds explore the bird house and someone who shall remain nameless tracks driveway tar onto the light aqua carpeting.  Before the evening falls and the breeze cools and we watch TV at ear-piercing levels and talk politics and books and you share ancient photos and vividly-detailed stories from Scotland in the century past.

We all know you never expected to hit this milestone.  Ah ... but God had other plans, and here you are, moving around on your own two feet and in your right mind.  Wisdom still comes from your heart and your vast life experience.  You still break into hearty song on a moment's notice ... and I realize in the writing of this that my sister and I do the same.  For the nuts didn't fall far from the tree, did they ...

You still prize hard work and an eye to detail, even though you might be moving just a tad slower.  Your eyes are quick to fill at the most sensitive of moments.  You make us laugh ... and yes, we both continue to make each other crazy from time to time.

And when you confidently pound on heaven's doors in perfect King James English, I know our Redeemer listens.  You have shown us how to be faithful to Him and to each other.  

Please know I value your wise counsel more than ever.  And I know I'm not the only one.  So please rejoice in this season because your legacy is living on, even as we speak.  Through your children.  Children's children.  And children's children's children.

How good is God!

I love you, Daddy ~

  

JOHN HALLIDAY BLACKIE

1928 - 2015

 LINK TO OBITUARY

3 Things I Loved Most About House Church

We said good-bye to The Community at Creekside last Saturday night, the house church I helped birth back in the beginning of 2008.  This peaceful, rather unstructured worship setting has offered freedom and healing and joy to those who have done life with us along the way.

I was recently told that I've changed for the better in the process.  Less driven, less intense, less wounded.  

The Spirit has worked overtime to gentle and calm my soul.  House church's atmosphere has played a role in my healing and growth.  I'm grateful.

What I've loved most?

1.   No committees, no power plays, no posturing and maneuvering, no grappling for control.

After decades in administrative and leadership roles in the traditional church, the distinct lack of rigid hierarchical structure has been a true gift, a lovely relief, a healing stream.  Decisions were made easily, amicably, without alot of fanfare, wrangling, drama, or trauma.  

2.  Weekends morphed into a true sabbath rest.

The release of busyness started late Saturday afternoon in preparation for church at 7 pm.  And the sweet respite, the slower pace flowed right through Sunday evening, a sacred pause that let us recover from the week's pressures and prepared us well for the next five days. 

No alarms jangling to wake us up, no crazy running for the door early in the morning in our Sunday best.  No series of classes, meetings, and programs that we were expected to jam into our schedule.

Just a gently quiet weekend ebb and flow that we quickly embraced.  Sabbath rest at its finest.

3.  A growth in godly character, not numbers.

People sometimes ask me if the Community has grown.  They mean numerically, as in bodies attending.  No, it hasn't.  

And is this a perfect group of people?  Far from it.  We're all saved sinners, remember?

But I have seen a growth in character, the fruit of the Spirit's gentle wooing.  More grace extended.  Patience blooming into full fruition.  Kindness showing up on a regular basis.  A steadfast generosity eager to extend itself to those in need.  Faithful love that became evident in a myriad of ways.

I will miss this little community, Bob's deep insight into God's Word, Wayne and Lynn's joyous energy in leading us in worship.  I'm a bit scared to go back to a traditional church setting.  I've been burned a time or two before and the scars remain, still a bit tender to the touch.

But follow His lead we will, for we know He has a new place for us to call home.

I love you guys.  And last Saturday night, all your lavish expressions of love and affection were oh so gratefully received, soaked up into our just-a-bit overwhelmed souls. The memories of our joyful celebration of God's goodness will linger long after the tears have been forgotten.

And if you're reading this post in or around Poughkeepsie and don't have a church home?  There are a couple of vacant, very comfy seats that just might have your name on them ...

:::

THE TRANSITION JOURNEY ~ AN UNEXPECTED SERIES

In Which This Is All So Very Bittersweet

Dear Linda  : :  Answering Your Questions About the Transition

For Sale . . . Our Much-Loved Haven

The Getting-the-House-Ready-to-Sell Whirlwind

Leaning in the Whirlwind

The Sheer Joy of Kindred Spirit Companionship

Honoring My Clients As I Close Up Shop

3 Things I Loved Most About House Church

Choosing Light-Hearted Responses

Moving On

:::

connecting with 

Kelly  .  Jennifer  .  Holley  .  Lyli

Honoring My Clients As I Close Up Shop

Truth be told, these have been rough weeks at the counseling office.  Tears have been shed, kind and tender tributes have been offered back and forth and back again.  Together, some clients and I have mapped out plans to continue our work over the phone and Skype after a bit of a break, while a few have been referred to other counselors.

And then there are those who are ready to take wings and soar.

On reflection, I'd say we've finished well.  And while it's fair to say that most of them are not exactly ecstatic about my leaving, I think they'd agree that we have worked hard at bringing this season of life together to a most satisfactory conclusion that has honored Christ.

Even if tears flowed freely from time to time with no embarrassment or shame.  From clients and counselor alike.

So instead of focusing on the now empty shelves in a half bare room and my very mixed feelings about this most difficult of transitions, I want to bring tribute to these incredible women of valor.  I hope that by the time you're done reading these words, you'll know why I'm passionate about what I do ... and why it's so hard to leave this place.

:::

no one's immune from sitting in the counseling office

I've talked with clients from 14 - 84.  They've come from endless, fascinating cultures with the broadest array of experiences, challenges, and pain.  But no matter where they find themselves or how they spend their days or how much cash they've got in their pockets, whether they're people full of faith or those who shake their fist in God's face ... when all is said and done, life happens.  And absolutely no one is immune from emotional trauma, grief, unexpected events, family crises, or serious illness that can pull the rug right out from under us.    

it takes courage to come to counseling ... and to keep on coming

Let me put to rest the myth that people who go to counseling are weak.  It takes an inordinate amount of strength to admit you need to talk with a professional.  Tenacity to find the perfect fit with the counselor who has the proper training to match your needs ... and a true connection to your soul.  And raw faith and endless trust to allow that counselor to lead you through your stuff, week in and week out, so that you come out on the other end so much better than when you started.  

every wounded soul needs a healing team 

While counseling conversations are 1-1 and confidential, healing doesn't come in a vacuum.  Together, counselor and client create a healing team that comes alongside as she moves through the tough times.  Safe, caring family members and friends, experienced medical and legal professionals, ongoing support groups, effective community services, church resources, and online help all come into play.  We don't heal on our own.  We were created for community.

counseling's not a 1 hour a week deal  

A motivated client is not content with 1 hour of work a week.  An emphasis on caring for her body through healthy eating, exercise, rest, and a new work/life balance are all on the table.  Consulting with her doctor, taking needed medication as prescribed, and creating a space to meet with God on a regular basis are vital steps in moving ahead.  Those who follow up on assigned reading and journaling, who begin to set up wise boundaries and take concrete steps to reach their goals ... these are the ones who mend, who grow, who heal.

wounded healers emerge from painful places

God doesn't bring healing so we can simply wander off and put our feet up and be happy.  The goal is always to take the lessons learned and the strength and wisdom gathered to bring something of beautiful, healing substance to others.  To be so restored and so grateful and so wise that grace and hope can be offered to others who are broken ... that is when the client knows she's come full circle.

:::

I honor you today, all who've invited me to sit and be present with you in the stark reality of your pain.  To leave no stone gently unturned as we've walked slowly but surely through the dark and scary places into the healing light and freedom that comes through Christ.  To banish the lies that have hindered, to discover the power of forgiveness, and embrace new ways of looking at life and relating to others well.  And ultimately, to claim the joyous potential of inviting our Redeemer to restore 'the years the locusts have eaten' {Joel 2:25}.  

Thank you for allowing me to champion your healing, pray you through each setback, speak the hard truth in love, and celebrate your victories.  When all is said and done, God is faithful and He is good.  

Anticipating what He has in store for us all ~

:::

THE TRANSITION JOURNEY ~ AN UNEXPECTED SERIES

In Which This Is All So Very Bittersweet

Dear Linda  : :  Answering Your Questions About the Transition

For Sale . . . Our Much-Loved Haven

The Getting-the-House-Ready-to-Sell Whirlwind

Leaning in the Whirlwind

The Sheer Joy of Kindred Spirit Companionship

Honoring My Clients As I Close Up Shop

3 Things I Loved Most About House Church

Choosing Light-Hearted Responses

Moving On

:::

adapted

sharing with Kelly  .  Jennifer  .  Holley  .  Lyli

The Sheer Joy of Kindred Spirit Companionship

Sometimes we've just gotta get out of our own heads, you know?  The endless swirling of our own giant-sized thoughts, the wholehearted self-absorption of our own neediness, the tunnel visioned focus of what's on our own personal plate.

Sometimes we've just gotta take a very purposeful break and tell those iron-sharpening-iron souls in our lives that we truly desire to be in their company and invite them to do life together with us even for just a few precious hours.  And to flexibly follow the Spirit's gentle nudges as we gather side by side.

To pull up rickety chairs 'round the table and break bread one with the other ... even if it's just take out.  To sit outside on a cool evening, cozying under an afghan together even as the sun sets low while the conversation deepens.  To answer 'yes, please' to a repeated offer from a friend who would like nothing better than to lend a hand.  Or do a luscious brunch overlooking the river that flows north and south ... and then grab well-worn sneakers for what seems to be a 50 mile hike back and forth over that river's footbridge on the most glorious sabbath afternoon ever.

These gatherings with kindred spirit companions are sheer joy and a much-craved grace, even more so during seasons of uncertainty, of transition, of change.  The conversation is easy, stories are shared, the laughter flows, there might be a tear or two that falls.  We are stretched and replenished, refueled for the journey ahead.  For we each bring out the absolute best in one another as we point our companions to Christ in the most natural and needful ways.

And when all is said and done, we find that the weekend was not at all about us.  That life goes on beyond our own four walls.  And that it's good, very good, to be totally other-absorbed.  And we can't help but smile as we praise God that those kindred spirit friends are in our lives.  For good.

No matter where our divergent pathways may lead in the unknown days ahead.

{}

THE TRANSITION JOURNEY ~ AN UNEXPECTED SERIES

In Which This Is All So Very Bittersweet

Dear Linda  : :  Answering Your Questions About the Transition

For Sale . . . Our Much-Loved Haven

The Getting-the-House-Ready-to-Sell Whirlwind

Leaning in the Whirlwind

The Sheer Joy of Kindred Spirit Companionship

Honoring My Clients As I Close Up Shop

3 Things I Loved Most About House Church

Choosing Light-Hearted Responses

Moving On

{}

stopping in to visit

  Kelly  .  Jennifer  .  Mary  .  Holley  .  Lyli

Leaning in the Whirlwind

'His way is in the whirlwind and the storm, and clouds are the dust of His feet ... the Lord is good,

 a refuge in times of trouble, He cares for those who trust in Him'

~  Nahum 1:3-7  ~

/   /   /

From this week's journaling ...

Whirlwinds leave us reeling, unfocused, unsettled, strained.  Everything is upended, uprooted, out of sorts.  We are left to find a new normal, a stable reality.  We want to make some sense of it all, for out of kilter we feel.

No wonder I feel the way I do right about now.  

Exhausted.  Sad.  Frazzled.  Done.

So here I am now.  Processing the farewells, aiming to leave well, to grieve thoroughly, to appreciate the remaining moments I have with those I care so deeply for.  To understand the stress of the whole house-selling process, to give myself grace, to thank my husband for sitting with my tears, for holding me gently while I weep.

That You, Lord, never change and are rock solid and sure is such a wellspring of strength right now. Because 'when all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay.'

May these quiet times together, this conversation back and forth, this sustenance, these moments tucked somewhere near the beginning of the day revitalize and stable me, strengthen and re-calibrate me.

You are in the whirlwind,

 yet You are never shaken.

I am leaning into You.

/   /   /

'As we continue the seasonal dance from one month to another, may we be willing to release our tight hold on familiar and grab on to something new.  May we carry our questions with us even as we gather up all the hope we can find for the days to come.'

~  Emily Freeman  ~

/   /   /

THE TRANSITION JOURNEY ~ AN UNEXPECTED SERIES

In Which This Is All So Very Bittersweet

Dear Linda  : :  Answering Your Questions About the Transition

For Sale . . . Our Much-Loved Haven

The Getting-the-House-Ready-to-Sell Whirlwind

Leaning in the Whirlwind

The Sheer Joy of Kindred Spirit Companionship

Honoring My Clients As I Close Up Shop

3 Things I Loved Most About House Church

Choosing Light-Hearted Responses

Moving On

The Getting-the-House-Ready-to-Sell Whirlwind

Whew!

It's been some ride.

The endless conversations, the whispered praying-without-ceasing, the confirmation in our hearts that YES, we always said we'd know when it was time to go and now it is.  The straight out, exhausting non-stop nuts and bolts of our month long side-by-side work to get the house to its absolute Sunday best.

And then all those endless hours of watching HGTV finally paid off as we staged each room 'just so,' a warm and homey {but not too personal} invitation to prospective buyers to imagine making themselves at home in this place.  Followed by the act of signing papers as we put our home out there for all the world to see.  And then our You Tube debut!  {Be sure to click on the gizmo on the bottom right to get the big picture!}

video

It's all been a real trip.  In the best sense of the word.  Really.

And you guys, well you've been the BEST cheerleaders ever!  As I began to share our transition journey, you surrounded me with the sweetest encouragements and virtual hugs, heaven-sent prayers and emails as I put my heart right out there on the table.  And I quickly realized that you were coming with me and I wouldn't need to say any online good-byes.

Can I tell you that this is an immense gift since there are so many difficult in-person farewells going on?

In a nutshell, here's a few things I learned in the whirlwind of getting the house ready to sell.

1.  If you ever made a list, now's the time.
He had a list, I had a list, we had a list together.  If anything or anybody had to be contacted / bought / accomplished / scheduled / checked out in some way, shape or form, it needed to be written down.  Period.

2.  If you ever stuffed a folder, this is it.
Every scrap of paper, every receipt, every estimate, every bit of information was kept in one easy-to-grab location.  I lost count how many times I flipped that folder open to dig some kind of much-needed paper out.  I blessed the day we thought of consolidating every bit of info into one place.

3. If you ever underestimated your abilities, forget about it.
I've always been a coach potato and never knew a screwdriver from a hammer{well, almost}.  But it was all hands on deck to get everything done in the very small window of time we had set for ourselves, so I had no choice but to climb ladders and strip wallpaper and spackle a million nail holes and haul garbage and make big decisions much more quickly than I would have preferred.

4.  If you ever bought supplies, buy more than you think you need.
You think you won't, but you WILL run out of paint or caulking stuff or paper towels or mulch.  Always.  So we bought more than we needed, no matter what it was, and we were able to return the leftovers easily.

5.  If you ever said 'thanks' right and left, this is the opportunity.
To our realtor team and the photographer they sent our way to capture the beautiful pictures for the listing ... we hit it off with them all right from the first minute.

To the guys at Home Depot and the hardware store and the garden center.  They know their stuff.

The flooring installers and the appliance delivery men deserve some kind of medal.  They didn't get bored with our questions and observations or irritated by our obsessive insistence on details and minutia.  We tipped them well and called their bosses and sang their praises.  I hope they get big fat raises.

And then there was the patience and grace we had to keep extending back and forth to each other, husband and wife, as we got under each other's skin on more than a few occasions.  And the great relief in knowing that God was right in the midst of all the craziness as we forged together 'round the next corner.

Literally.

Let's talk houses.  

Updating, staging, listing, selling.

*

THE TRANSITION JOURNEY ~ AN UNEXPECTED SERIES

In Which This Is All So Very Bittersweet

Dear Linda  : :  Answering Your Questions About the Transition

For Sale . . . Our Much-Loved Haven

The Getting-the-House-Ready-to-Sell Whirlwind

Leaning in the Whirlwind

The Sheer Joy of Kindred Spirit Companionship

Honoring My Clients As I Close Up Shop

3 Things I Loved Most About House Church

Choosing Light-Hearted Responses

Moving On

*

visiting with Kelly  *  Mary  *  Holley  *  Lyli  *  Leigh  *  Emily

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