3 Cherished Little Guidebooks

Devotions.

That sacred little quiet time with God has gotten a bad rap along the way.  Instead of a winsome invitation from the Lover of our souls that woos us deeper into His arms of grace and mercy, it's too often morphed into a heavy, cumbersome discipline that we run from.

For many of us, it's become a guilt-induced labor filled with shoulds and oughts instead of a sweet respite, a nest of solitude and silence that overflows with delight and strength-giving power.

Truth be told, we've all struggled with creating those sacred minutes that impact us at the soul level.  I don't know a single person who's arrived and is fully satisfied with how they connect with the One that loves them best.  

Sometimes a new little guidebook or a fresh translation of the Bible, a crisp-paged journal or figuring out a better time / location can make a world of difference.

A few weeks back, I scooped up a few of the devotional books I've collected over the years and snapped this photo.

I love these little guidebooks that have been gathered along the way.

But my all time favorites?  Probably these three.

Bread for the Journey: A Daybook of Wisdom and Faith ~ Henri Nouwen
Just a few paragraphs speak so deeply into your soul that you're kind of left in awe.  That's who Nouwen was, that's what this book offers.  Spending a quiet minute at his site has become a bit of a sacred breath in my morning online routine ...

'The table is one of the most intimate places in our lives. It is there that we give ourselves to one another.  When we say, 'Take some more, let me serve you another plate, let me pour you another glass, don't be shy, enjoy it,' we say a lot more than our words express.  We invite our friends to become part of our lives.  We want them to be nurtured by the same food and drink that nurture us.  We desire communion . . . Every breakfast, lunch, or dinner can become a time of growing communion with one another.'

Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence ~ Sarah Young
I often read one of Sarah's offerings to a client at the end of a difficult counseling session when we've gone deep and unearthed pain.  She often can't believe that the words weren't written just for her, for they speak peace and hope to her weary heart.

And now the book is not only at my office, but also on my desk at home in the form of one of those perpetual calendars which keeps me company when my computer's dragging its feet getting where I want it to go.

'Talk with Me about every aspect of your day, including your feelings.  Remember that your ultimate goal is not to control or fix everything around you; it is to keep communing with me.  A successful day is one in which you have stayed in touch with Me, even if many things remain undone at the end of the day.  Do not let your to-do list {written or mental} become an idol directing your life.  Instead, ask My Spirit to guide you moment by moment.  He will keep you close to Me.'

One Thousand Gifts Devotional: Reflections on Finding Everyday Graces ~ Ann Voskamp
Ann's original 1000 Gifts book changed my life upside down, propelling me into a gratitude focused mindset that slowly but surely impacted the dailyness of my life.

If you loved the book, the devotional will take you back to that place where gratitude abounds, even in the midst of the ugliest or saddest of circumstances.  I just finished it last week and I've already started paging through once more.  It's that good.

'It is the astonishing truth that while I serve Christ, it is He who serves me.  Jesus Christ still lives with a towel around His waist, bent in service to His people ... in service to me as I serve, that I need never serve in my own strength ... He calls us to serve, and it is Him who we serve, but He, very God, kneels down to serve as we serve.  Spend the whole of your wild and beautiful life investing in many lives, and God simply will not be outdone.  God extravagantly pays back everything we give away and exactly in the currency that is not of this world but of the one we yearn for - joy in Him.'

Let's talk about the devotional books you cherish

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your struggles with a quiet time

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and rewards of those nestling-with-God experiences

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would you like to subscribe?

linking up with Mary & Holley & Anne

Cherished Books 4 Little Ones

Hands down, reading has always been my favorite pastime.  I have comforting memories of my childhood years, snuggling close to my sister and cousins and Grandma as she read those wonderfully creased and worn Little Golden Books.  And then there was that moody sullen teenage era, when I closeted myself away in the sanctuary of my room with my own miserable company, escaping in the endless pages that captured my attention.

Along the way, the library was a second home.

As I made my way through the routine dailyness of mothering, cuddling up and reading with my girls was a relaxing way to spend the hours in our little house high on the hill.  We made our way through shelves and bags of books over and over again.  And visits to the library became part of our weekly routine.

During the seasons of education and lengthy periods of solitude that have followed, a growing variety of books have been steady, nurturing companions.  And these days their importance continues as a perfect way to quiet and soothe and refocus our six oh-so-energetic grandkids.

I love reading to my grandchildren.

The nuts haven't fallen far from the tree, as they say.  So I when I asked my oldest daughter what books mesmerize her two cherubs most, she gave me these favorite go-to choices.  For Christmas, a birthday or shower gift, or a donation in honor or memory of someone?  Here you go!  Snuggle close with your favorite little person and enjoy ...

If the fun little Amazon Carousel isn't spinning in your view of this post,
here's the list!

I Love You: A Keepsake Storybook Collection - Baker

The Beginner's Bible: Timeless Children's Stories - Pulley

My First ABC Board Book - DK

Elmo & Friends - Sesame Street

Peter Pan - Luske

Numbers 1-10 - Disney

Buzby, the Misbehaving Bee - Lucado

The Big Blue Book of Beginner Books - Eastman

The Little Engine That Could - Piper

Moo, Quack, Roar and More! - Miller

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sharing good reads with Kristen & Anne

A Truly Beachy Day

We're beach people born and bred, my husband and I.  But seldom when the sun beats down hot and heavy.  You're more likely to find us walking abandoned shorelines in winter, fall, or spring than in these dog days of summer.  Our typical beachwear includes multiple layers of hooded sweatshirts, scarves, headgear, and gloves, all encased in very bulky jackets. 

But not on a recent golden weekend morning.  Flip flops, shorts, baseball caps, and sunglasses were the order of the day at the lake 1/2 hour north.  All excuses as to why we didn't have time to head to the beach vanished as the perfectly exquisite day dawned.  We arrived early and happily ensconced ourselves in comfy green chairs under the spreading branches of one of the many trees along the sandy shore, shielded from the sun's harsh rays.

We chitchatted, held hands, ate, napped, read, ate, took a few leisurely strolls to quieter inlets along the shore, laughed, ate, people watched, and shared conversation back and forth all day on matters big and small.

Some random observations ...

Families
Alive and well at this beach.  Parents must accompany children under 10 years old into the water, and most parents were actively splashing away, not tentatively standing on the shoreline, biding their time.  Watching the scene unfold brought to mind long ago memories from back in the day when our own girls were small.  We spotted lots of extended families and I knew how much our gang of twelve would have loved this. 

Picnics
Alive and well, too.  Nobody seemed to arrive empty handed, and coolers of every size imaginable were dragged onto the sand or toted along the shoreline.  There's no fast food in this neck of the woods, and even the snack bar didn't seem to be all that busy, even though the beach was jam packed by early afternoon.  We feasted on baked chicken {just like my mom used to make when we went to the beach back in the '60s ... and yes, they had beaches back then} and all manner of munchies rather hastily packed early morning.  And together we guzzled a half gallon of iced tea, flavored with fresh-snipped mint from our back porch.

Screens
Not at this beach.  Not sure why.  Poor reception up in the sticks?  Too much fun to be had at water's edge?  Sick and tired of being tethered to all things electronic?  I only saw one Kindle and two smart phones in action.  Translation = people were very much in the moment.  Our phones were off and in the car.  We had no idea what time it was and couldn't have cared less.  That is until we began to long for some ice cream.

Tattoos
Alive and well on at least 50% of the passersby we saw ... young, old, men, women.  I'm sorry, but a large number of inkings on one's body are not a particularly attractive sight, especially on most older people.  Please do keep this in mind if you're considering indulging in this rather permanent commitment.

Bodies
I'm always amazed at the number of women who think their bodies are bikini-worthy.  And the whole concept of modesty seems to be as rare as hen's teeth.  And while I'm wondering what message is being modeled for the next generation, I'm also thinking, hey, guys ... would you please go and grab a t-shirt?  My oh-so-observant husband said it best.  'More people need to be covered up.'  Need I say more?

Bookbag
Here's a wonderful little devotional to tuck in with your beach gear.  Sweet little readings, nothing too heavy, and wonderful photos make this a good choice to throw in your bag. {Hint - buy a few extra for your beach loving friends ...}

You can click here to check out this little volume ...

 

As a former client said so well in an early morning note ... 'I hope your summer is full of beachy days.'

 

==>  From the beach to Beth's and Donna's

Of White Space & Margins

I'm yearning for ever-increasing white space, margins, and serenity. 

Online.

Over time, I've become an avid blogger and reader of such.  Maybe that's why I'm drawn to the ones that are designed sparse.  Compelling open spaces that do nothing but invite me to come rest awhile.  That give full permission for meaningful words to jump off the page, tugging at my heartstrings or challenging my mind.  And wide open visual margins that invite beautiful photographs to effortlessly spring to life.

Without all the bells and whistles, flashing ads, and endless buttons and links and stuff on every square inch, I'm drawn to the true message that shines through unhindered.  Nothing distracts me from catching a glimpse of her heart, her vision, her story, her humor, her insights, her truths.  I move on from our little visit refreshed and renewed ... online time well spent.

The whole margins concept is nothing new ... I've been dipping into physician Richard Swenson's volumes for years.  Because this is how I want to live, embracing meaningful pockets of solitude and rest, sanity and peace.  I know that this is how I will stay healthy and whole in every way that matters.  To grow in Christ-centered faith ... and deep awareness and appreciation of who this girl is in this season.  And to have my soul's deep well refilled to overflowing.  Often.  With plenty of nurturing sustenance left over to share.

Swenson writes, 'To learn the grace of stillness in the midst of busyness is much-needed oxygen for exhausted people everywhere.  Instead of being cheered on by the socially acceptable mantra 'more and more, faster and faster,' perhaps we can rediscover the sacred pace of Jesus. 

Overload and hurry are not prerequisites for service but enemies of faith.  Can we raise new signs such as 'Stop believing that chronic exhaustion is normal, that a listless spirit is inevitable, that burnout is piety'?'

P.S.   You're probably noticing a bit of re-creation, an enlargement of white space, margins, and photo size right here and now ... a long-considered update that I hope you love as much as I do!



Adios to Rescuing, Fixing, Saving

The subject of boundaries is a substantial, ongoing thread woven through many counseling conversations.  Counselors assist people in figuring out what boundaries look like and why a boundaried lifestyle works.  We sort through the damage done when clear boundaries haven't been set up or when they've been violated.  And we work together to move into the future with a truer sense of what healthy emotional {and sometimes physical} perimeters look like.

I'm sharing some notes from a recent read-through of Melody Beattie's classic Beyond Codependency.   And no, this is not just another self-help book for adult children of alcoholics or fans of the recovery movement.  It's for any who struggle with the propensity to be so involved with the lives of others that they leave their own self-care and common sense behind.  This includes people helpers of every stripe and those who spend their days absorbed in the endless compulsion to rescue, fix, or save everyone who comes along their path. 

This rescue mentality often occurs because our identity, our value, our esteem is not fully settled in our relationship with our Savior, but rather in what we can do for others. 

Let me put it this way.  I've met alot of codependent people who love Jesus. 

Loving our neighbor as ourselves {Mark 12:30-31} implies that there should be some level of regard and care for our own souls before we can model something healthy and whole for those we rub shoulders with.   The key is loving God first.  With everything we've got.  Out of that healthy allegiance comes the ability and desire to love and care for ourselves, in all the ways that matter most - body, spirit, mind, emotions.  And then modeling something compellingly life-giving to those around us as we share His love and grace.

And allowing people the freedom to make their own choices, own their own feelings, live their own lives.

Because God alone is the one who rescues.  Fixes.   Saves. 

Not us.

My notes ...

* setting boundaries is about learning to take care of ourselves, no matter what happens, where we go or who we're with

* boundaries emerge from deep decisions about what we believe we deserve and don't deserve

* boundaries emerge from the belief that what we want and need, like and dislike is important

* boundaries emerge from a deeper sense of our personal rights, especially the right we have to take care of ourselves and be ourselves

* boundaries emerge as we learn to value, trust, and listen to ourselves

* when we identify we need to set a limit with someone, do it clearly, preferably without anger, and in as few words as possible

* we cannot simultaneously set a boundary (a limit) and take care of another person's feelings

* we'll probably feel ashamed and afraid when we set boundaries

* anger, rage, complaining, and whining are clues to boundaries we need to set

* we'll be tested when we set boundaries

* be prepared to follow through by acting in congruence with boundaries

* some people are happy to respect our boundaries

* we'll set boundaries when we're ready, and not a minute sooner

* a support system can be helpful as we strive to establish and enforce boundaries

I hope this provides a bit of helpful food for thought ~

^ highlighters by Numan Q.



10 Books I Reference For Daily Life

Sarah Bessey crafted a wonderful adventure for those who love the feel of a book between our hands and the adventure of discovery that beckons when we settle in between its pages.  For 7 days, her many readers have been conversing back and forth, sharing their cherished selections like one great big book club.  This peaking at the shelves of others, this browsing through a vast variety of beloved gems has been eye-opening, instructive, and just plain fun.  

You can wander through my own 10 Books That Changed My Faith right here.

Today's emphasis is on the volumes we turn to day in and day out.  These are my go-to books, the tools that have proven over time to be must-haves for me.  Starting with the bottom of the picture and working my way up, here's what keeps me doing life well ...

 1.  Journal - Large spiral bound ones with lined pages are my favorites.  Spending time dialoguing with God has become a healing journey, a huge lifeline, a non-negotiable spiritual discipline since way back in 2004, thanks to the suggestion of a wise spiritual director.  I share some excerpts from time to time.

 2.  66 Love Letters  - Before I begin reading through each book of the Bible, I sit with Larry Crabb's dialogue with God as to the mysteries, the whys, the hows of our Savior's ways.  This is a wonderful companion for all of us who come to Scripture with deep faith, yet lots of questions.  This pioneer Christian counselor/spiritual director assures me that I'm not the only one who wrestles deeply.

 3.  Appointment Book - After my Bible, this is the most important book I own.  My clients are used to seeing me handle this slim, red leather volume used to keep track of our times together.

 4.  The Message - As I continue my chronological reading through the Bible, I'm appreciating this fresh way to approach God's Word.

 5.  Invitation to Solitude & Silence - This little volume by Ruth Haley Barton is a treasured gem, the pivotal key God used to enlarge and deepen my relationship with Him.  If you read one book this year, this is it!

 6.  NIV Study Bible - Frayed and worn right down to the nubs, this is my heart, my precious companion for more than 23 years.  The cover is held together with layers of tape and its pages are filled with my life - gifts of dried leaves and flowers, abandoned feathers, tiny treasures, tear stains, and boundless notes and margin jottings, some of which are shared here.

 7.  The Official Scrabble Players Dictionary - This baby sits in a place of honor right on the kitchen table next to a candle, a collection of sea glass, the vitamins, and salt and pepper shakers.  Its pages keep my husband and I from making up words that have no chance of existing.

 8.  Sudoku - This is my evening sedative of choice.

 9.  Weight Watchers Complete Food Companion - I've been a lifetime member since June of 2009, having shed 25 excess pounds that I was more than thrilled to say farewell to.  When I'm counting points to prepare for my monthly weigh-in, this lets me know if I can cheat a bit.

10.  Jesus Calling - I've used dozens of devotional books over the years, but this one by Sarah Young has spoken to me in a way that no other book has.  I share a reading each week with my clients as they settle in for their appointments with deep breathing and our prayer for the Holy Spirit to be an integral part of our conversation together.

What books are on your nightstand, desk, or coffee table?

Linda

10 Books That Changed My Faith

Sarah Bessey has become known as 'an accidental grassroots voice for postmodern and emerging women in the Church on issues from mothering to politics and theology to ecclesiology.'  One of my favorite blog writers, I find the words she pens to be down-to-earth, endlessly compelling ... and at times, quite challenging. 

Sarah's featuring 10 Books A Day for a Week ... and she's invited her readers to jump in and join the fun!  After I read her invite, I headed over to the bookcase and pulled out the little lined journal filled with an ongoing list of all the books I've read since 1992.  Coming in after my well worn, held-together-by-clear-packing-tape NIV Study Bible from 1989, here's the 10 books that changed my faith and the practice of it. 

I pulled this list together before I read her top 10 faith books, and was surprised {or maybe not so much} that 2 of these are on her list, too ...

Gifted to Lead - Beach

Crazy Love - Chan

How I Changed My Mind About Women in Leadership - Johnson

Who Stole My Church? - MacDonald

The Ragamuffin Gospel - Manning

Introverts in the Church - McHugh

Radical - Platt

The Emotionally Healthy Church - Scazzero

1000 Gifts - Voskamp

The Shack - Young

So ... what are your top 10 faith-stretching books?

Linda

+ NOT TO BE MISSED BONUS - Inside Out - Crabb

*  *  *  Coming on Saturday - 10 Books I Reference For Daily Life  *  * 

3 Moves You Must Make To Become Whole

I'm on the 2nd read-through of Rhett Smith's book, THE ANXIOUS CHRISTIAN.  And I'm thinking that it'll go down as one of the most important books I'll read and recommend this year.  As I move through this volume with my Wednesday evening anxiety group, these courageous ladies are sharing more-than-profound insights that are making even my own seasoned head spin, and my heart burst with a deep gratitude for what the Holy Spirit does in lives who are fully committed to God and are willing to do the hard work of change.

After a decade of pastoral counseling, I believe that there are three pivotal moves we need to make in order to find the healing and freedom that we yearn for:

1.  Look Back & Turn Over Every Stone

2.  Take Responsibility For My Responses & Choices

3.  Forgive & Release Others

Rhett's words are gamechangers, aimed at questions that swirl way in the back of our troubled hearts, where some very defensive, self-protective postures keep us tragically immobilized in the quicksand of going nowhere fast.  Why should I look back?  Why do I need to stop blaming others, and bravely take on the mantle of responsibility that I've avoided like the plague?  And why is forgiveness is the only way to unshackle myself from the past?

He writes,
'... if we fear looking back at the past, or downplay how the past has shaped us, we may never really learn who we are and how we have been wired ... Once we begin to see the patterns and how those interactions shaped who we are today, it provides a powerful opportunity for us to begin to understand ourselves better.  In that awareness we are then freed to begin to make the changes we want in life.  Without awareness and knowledge of who we are and how we were shaped in our family of origin, there is little motivation and opportunity to change the ways we have always operated.

Looking back provides us with the opportunity to review the past because the past is important.  The past has shaped who we are presently, has a profound influence on how we react in times of fear or pain, and will continue to shape who we will be in the future ... As we look back at our families of origin and how they shaped us, we practice the biblical concept of remembering, and in doing so we can participate in the reshaping of who God has created us to be ... By participating in the process of remembering we are given the task to take responsibility for our lives. 

Too many people look back at the past and fall prey to becoming a passive victim who shirks responsibility and in the process forfeits their present and future with God.  It's important to understand how you became who you are today, but equally important to ask yourself who you want to be ...

Finally, this process also allows us the opportunity to exercise grace to ourselves and to others.  As we muster up the courage to face our past, we may be surprised to realize that we weren't the only ones having a difficult time in life and struggling to make it day to day.  As we review the past and take responsibility for our lives, we may begin to slowly realize that often our parents were doing the best they could.  Maybe what you got from them was all they knew how to give.  This is not to excuse areas in your life where parents should have been more present, more encouraging, less critical, etc.  But maybe that knowledge may free you up enough to let go and live in freedom from the bondage of the past.'

Savor more ...

The question just begs to be asked as this post comes to a close.  What are you going to do with what you've read today?

Linda



A Note From My Sister

Marilyn, October 2010

Linda,

When I was having treatment you gave me a devotional book called Journey Into Day (meditations for new cancer patients) by Rusty Freeman. I told you then that it was really good and I got around 1/2 way through it and put it down. We must have had company around that time because I recently found it in a paper bag of piles of papers that I had put in my closet!! I started reading the book where he starts talking about the end of treatment, remission, etc. It is excellent and definitely the best book for new cancer patients - (not sure if it is good for people who are terminal). It is written by a pastor who has had cancer two times.

I'm thinking of buying a bunch and bringing them to the oncology treatment waiting rooms - I know the one at Beth Israel they take all kinds of books - and I'm also thinking of giving some to the oncology chaplains office. So, thanks for passing it along - I think you got it from one of your friends.

Guess it is good we were cleaning out a closet!
Marilyn

Thank you to those who still ask for my sister.  She continues to forge ahead ... and in a monthly cancer support group, she's now impacting the lives of other women.

Linda

2010's Top 11 Books!

Insightful biographies.  A few life-altering, ministry-related  volumes.  One "can't put it down" novel.  Works both Christian and secular. 

For an overview of each, click on the titles of my 2010 Top 11 picks.  The ones with the * are "must reads!"

(And yes, my very well-worn, much-loved 1988 NIV Bible is still #1!)

Click here to rummage through some other bookbag choices ...

So - what's the book you'd most recommend?
Linda

DECISION POINTS - Bush

* LEADING ON EMPTY - Cordeiro

66 LETTERS - Crabb

* REVELATIONS OF A SINGLE WOMAN - Gilliam

WHY I STAYED - Haggard

PERMISSION TO SPEAK FREELY - Jackson

* INTROVERTS IN THE CHURCH - McHugh

THE CONTROL FREAK - Parrott

STAYING TRUE - Sanford

* THE HELP - Stockett

IN THE LAND OF BELIEVERS - Welch