Monday, February 3, 2014

Calling All Control Freaks

Tenacious and a bit invasive.  At times, obsessive, perfectionistic, or critical.  Perhaps a tad rigid or demanding.  And yes, since we're talking straight today, disrespectful and obnoxious.

Ouch!

Truth be told, it can be fairly easy for some of us to swoop on in to endlessly control help those we do life with.  Sadly, our best intentions often end up backfiring as we repeatedly interfere in their lives, uninvited, leaving a trail of hurt and frustration in our wake. 

This rescue mentality often occurs because our identity, our value, our esteem is not fully settled in our relationship with our Savior but rather in what we can do for others.

And there's often some deep seated woundedness in the past that lurks deep.  Without even being fully aware of its powerful undertow, we believe the lie that if we can somehow manipulate all that touches us, maybe we can somehow push away that pain that threatens to undo the core of who we are. 

The bottom line is that as much as we yearn to, there are certain things we can't direct.  Rescue.  Manage.  Or fix.  Some of our own circumstances are truly out of our hands.  And just about all of everyone else's stuff is as well, as much as we'd like to think differently. Because there's only One who can step in to turn things upside down, redefine out of control circumstances, and heal souls.

What we CAN do is figure out what's ours to tend to.  Things like ... 

investing our time and energy well

caring for our bodies, minds, and souls with wisdom 

naming and owning our emotions in ways that are healthy

discovering who we need to be to love well 
 
inviting the Spirit to fill us with His fruit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control

identifying and using the abilities and calling God has gifted us with

Turns out that's the easy part.

The not so easy?  Choosing to release our control frantic grasping over everything else that buzzes across our radar.  Handing it straight on up to the One who set the majestic heavens in place, who counts the grains of sand on deepest ocean floors, who knows the end from the beginning.  This is tough stuff.  We're so sure that we've got all the answers and want so badly to step in and control save the day.  But only the Redeemer can do that.

Now ... to get out of His way and invite Him to do what He does best.  Comfort.  Convict.  Rescue.  Save.  Because He's the Holy One who touches lives in the most incredible, powerful ways, far beyond what we could ask or imagine.

~~~> visiting with Laura  *  Kristen  *  Lyli

14 comments:

  1. Oh yes! Invite Him into what seems like (to me in the moment) "controlled chaos" and get out of His way! Love that! I need this reminder, Linda. I think one of the problems for me is that control "sometimes" gets immediate results. I know that's an illusion, but it feeds the "beast" in me! ha! Thanks for your challenge today and for being such a great friend to me!

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    1. Yep, control can get immediate results. But in the end it backfires, because those results are laced with fear and resentment. And people head the other way when they see us coming. And that feeds our own inner woundedness. What a vicious cycle ...

      I love that you have kicked off this conversation today, Beth. You, my dear, are a faithful encourager.

      ;-}

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  2. Your title got me again, Linda. I *think* maybe I've improved some over the years, but I'm not really the one to determine that (I need to ask my family!). Although I don't think I try to control them so much, I know I try to keep things in tight control in my own circumstances, and that is a lack of trust in God to handle things. I want to be quicker about handling things over to God. Thanks for the encouragement to do that today!

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    1. For sure, none of has arrived ... and hopefully we're each moving ahead, not stuck in neutral, or heading back to where we came from. Praise God!

      Thanks for starting off the week with me, Lisa! You're always a delight to me ...

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    2. I think control is my middle name! Actually the more I think about it, it is my first name also. For me it comes down to time and lack of patience. Things work out faster if I control them - waiting on God to do things in His perfect timing sometimes takes patience that hasn't been cultivated in me yet. A little at a time...

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    3. I like that you're owning this and that you're able to see the dynamics behind the whole control thing. And yes, He can work a little at a time ... or a whole lot at once. Please let me know how this unfolds for you, ok?

      Thanks for joining this discussion today. It means alot to me that you're here.

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  3. Hi Linda! Well, I busted out laughing at your call for all control-freaks. Here I am!! But my laughter changed to a new understanding of maybe why I am like that. Not sure what would have started it, but I know I have to un-learn it. I think controlling things has a very attractive pull for me, but on the other hand, it's just exhausting. No one can keep up the pace of trying to lead it all.

    It's a hard thing to un-learn. But I'm on my way and I hope someday to beat it. But just knowing I have those tendencies really helps. It makes me say "Oh wait. Here I go again." And then it's time to back off.

    Loved this. I laughed and I learned. That's a great combo for me.
    Blessings,
    Ceil

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    1. Laughing and learning? A great big YES to this combo! And readers all over the place will resonate with the exhaustion you mentioned. Absolutely. The sad thing is we just never realized how tiresome it is to carry the weight of the world on our weary shoulders ...

      Thanks for celebrating the beginning of another week with me, Ceil!

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  4. Ouch! Linda? Please. Get off. My toes. :) I've been there, still go there at times. I love what you say about how this reflects a need to foster our relationship with Jesus. That is very good advice, my friend.

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    1. Yes, we all still go there at times. To say we don't is to live in denial! But ouch? Yes. The Spirit convicts me. And I know I'm not the only one.

      Thank you, Laura. As always ...

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  5. This is just what I needed this morning. Thank you for your encouragement and conviction.

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    1. Ah yes ... I was convicted in the writing of it, too, Katheryn. Thanks for coming by and introducing yourself!

      ;-}

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  6. I definitely tend to be a control freak. I love that you focused on figuring out what is ours to tend to. Instead of just trying to let go of things that aren't ours to control, this gives us something on which to focus.

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    1. There's no use in saying 'no' to something if we're not prepared to fill that void with something positive and healthy! Thanks for weighing in on this today, Shannon. I think this is a huge issue ... we're just not always ready to say that it's our own issue!

      ;-}

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Welcome to the table, friend!

This is where we gather and hang out. I'd love for you to pull up a chair and jump right into the conversation. Or simply say 'hello.'

l'll be dropping in to visit you sometime soon ...

Linda

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