And I hear that this video is getting alot of press in the Christian blog world.
Or did it ever leave?
Writer Brandon J. O’Brien defines what the new face of faith looks like. "Spiritual, but not religious ... Happy to believe many things at once ... Tradition and morality are valued more than belief ... Serving doesn't require believing ... Religious beliefs having very little impact on their personal or professional goals."
Read his insightful observations here and here.
All this conversation is all very well and good and incredibly applicable to the church's future ministry. But it doesn't even begin to speak to the agony of parents whose kids have abandoned their parents' faith. Or choose to express their beliefs in ways that are rather incomprehensible to these parents, who are left to figure out what to do with much that they can't get their hands and hearts around.
We've looked at this in Outta There, Where Did We Go Wrong?, and Whatever Happened to Sunday School?.
The bottom line is that we all must work out our salvation with fear and trembling {Philippians 2:12}. Our children's faith must be authentically their own. And, yes, it can be soul-searing to watch them do so and make choices that bring us sorrow. If you've ever felt powerless as a parent, it's at these precise moments.
In the conversations I've had with heartbroken parents, this is what they've taught me:
1. I NEED TO GRIEVE
My child has not turned out the way I hoped and prayed they would. I am hurt. Frustrated. Scared. Feel disrespected {possibly a.k.a. angry.} I need to wrestle with this. I need to acknowledge any mistakes I made along the way and ask for forgiveness, but I refuse to blame myself for their choices. I need to walk through this well and come to some measure of peace. If I don't, instead of Jesus' compassionate love, bitterness will slowly begin to define my life.
2. I NEED TO LOVE
My very legitimate feelings can not come in the way of my relationship with my child. I must be respectful of their right to choose what they believe and how they live out their beliefs. I need to be very active in loving them them well in this season of our lives, in a language they understand.
3. I NEED TO REDEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP
I want a rich relationship with my child. I need to see my little one as an adult, treating them with the same respect that I want in return. I need to accept who they are today, and actively and creatively look for ways to us to connect and move ahead. I must allow my faith to give me all the comfort and wisdom I need to do this well.
4. I NEED TO STEP ASIDE
I am not the Holy Spirit. I need to "pray without ceasing" that He will do all the pursuing and convicting that my child might need. I will not entertain endless question and answer sessions that morph into hurtful and fruitless debates that go nowhere and put a wedge into our relationship.
Please know that if this is your experience, you're not alone. You share this sorrow with many other parents who have raised their children to love and serve Jesus Christ. And then have watched them choose to walk on other paths.
Are you willing to share your experience? What's helped/hasn't worked as you've walked through this valley? I invite you to click on the comment link below. And if it helps, please feel free to do it anonymously.
Linda
