Ah, yes, my self-imposed blogging exile is over.
;-}
Thirty or so days have slipped on by. I lost count of how many people asked if I missed writing. There never was an easy answer to their straightforward question. Some days I longed for keyboard and screen with a fierceness that rather amazed me. And then there were stretches of time where blogging was the last thing crossing the overcrowded landscape of my head and heart.
I whiled away peaceful hours curled up under a well worn quilt, fortified with a stack of books and endless mugs of hot tea. I sorted through more shelves and possessions than I dared to count. Kitchen appliances were dusted off and I became reacquainted with their workings. Best of all, the weeks offered priceless hours with those dearest to me ... family, friends, clients.
But even in the midst of my quiet puttering and restful moments, life moved ahead. And with each passing day I encountered more news that was bad or sad or just plain unsettling. Yet somehow right in the midst of it all, two sorely needed gifts emerged as priceless sabbatical takeaways, compelling invitations that beckoned from the Lover of my soul. It wasn't long til these sweet gifts grabbed hold of my heart and claimed their rightful place in the daily weaving of my life.
Invitation #1 - Prayer
Jesus and I spent long hours together. I had no choice. There were just too many heart-wrenching attacks on those I love most. Physical, emotional, spiritual.
Each morning, I prayed myself gently awake, turning to Him before my eyes encountered the light peeking through the windows. Even as circumstances seemed to be careening from bad to worse, He assured me that He hadn't changed and was still in control. Daily, we walked together through hours when I knew I had no choice but to turn completely to Him as unnerving events poured down like endless torrents of teeming rain.
Invitation #2 - Sleep
I drifted off to sleep night after night only by His powerful grace, His Spirit communing His peaceful presence through Scripture verses and songs that floated gently into my heart, calming both mind and body, producing the most rest-filled sleep I've experienced in years.
I never dreamed {no pun intended} how dangerously tired I had become over time, how much deep restorative sleep I was missing through no fault but my own. Too often, I was online far too early or way too late. Burning the midnight oil left my brain overstimulated to the point where I could create entire blog posts in my sleep. Really.
The whole blogging thing had slowly become an endless striving, writing and checking stats and hoping for comments and racing over to jump right in at the beginning of linky parties. All this futile crazymaking was gaining an unhealthy grip on me with unpleasant tentacles reaching deep down into my core. Writing online had morphed into something wearyingly self-absorbed and shallow, petty and small.
Those days are done. Finished. I'm back with a passion, but it's coming from a different place because something significant has shifted inside. Deep. I'm not quite sure how to define it except to say that I've decided to more purposefully live out one of my favorite verses through the writing I do.
'We make it our goal to please Him' {2 Corinthians 5:9}.
Trust me, my intent is not to come across as high and mighty or holier than thou. This is simply where I am. The honest truth is that my heart's increasing desire is to pen my words and live my life for an audience of One. It's His approval I'm seeking. And I'd love for you to join us as we travel on this next leg of the journey. Together ...
* Sharing my heart with Laura & Kristen & Emily
