Help - I Don't Have Self Control

Are you feeling like things - food, shopping, sex, alcohol, smoking. . . . . - are controlling you instead of your controlling them?  The good news is that you do not have to be a slave to anything!

One of the fabulous gifts that God gives to us is self control - "But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, He will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. Galatians 5:22,23.

Why are we driven by habits which are demonstrations of our being out of control?  We have found out that if we hurt on the outside (a head ache), we can take an aspirin and we feel better.  We have also found out that if we have pain or are wounded on the inside, medications like shopping, alcohol, sex, busyness, etc. make us feel better.

However, God says that "A person without self control is as defenseless as a city with broken walls" Proverbs 25:28.  We are left to the whims of the "medication" that makes us feel good for the moment.

The solution is not found in altering the external manifestations of the problem - cutting up our credit cards, putting filters on our computers, or making all food taste like cardboard.

I would suggest these steps to gain self control:

1. Give yourself to Jesus Christ and allow His Holy Spirit to control you.  After experiencing defeat or frustration from attempting to fix things yourself with no success, you need someone greater than you - Jesus Christ - to help you.

2. Remind yourself continually that you are not a slave to your "feel good" solution.  Romans 6:14 - "Sin is no longer your master, for you are no longer subject to the law, which enslaves you to sin.  Instead, you are free by God's grace."

3. Ask the deep questions.  Ask what is broken inside - your self worth, the need for acceptance, or love, or approval.  How are you trying to medicate those inside wounds?  Be careful not to do things to receive other people's approval.  That gives them too much power in your life.  The Apostle Paul said that his goal was to please God - not other people.

4.Gather safe friends around you to help you and hold you accountable.  Proverbs 12:15 - "Fools think they need no advice but the wise listen to others."  By "safe" I mean those who will hold your private conversations in confidence without gossiping to others or condemning you for what you have disclosed.

5. Give it all up.  Jesus said that the way we find out life is to lose it; those who desire to be great must serve; the first will be last.  Those words do not make sense to us, but, the way to gain self control is to give control of your life to another - the Holy Spirit.  That is God's way.

By following these five steps I pray that you will find freedom and joy in being released from the things that control you.  God wants you to have self control so much that He promises if we give Holy Spirit control, He will give us self control as a gift.

                                                      Enjoy the gift ~  Bob