Monday, March 24, 2014

The Imperfect Table

'Although the table is a place for intimacy, we all know how easily it can become a place of distance, hostility, and even hatred.  Precisely because the table is meant to be an intimate place, it easily becomes the place we experience the absence of intimacy.  The table reveals the tensions among us.  When husband and wife don’t talk to each other, when a child refuses to eat, when brothers and sisters bicker, when there are tense silences, then the table becomes hell, the place we least want to be.

The table is the barometer of family and community life.  Let’s do everything possible to make the table the place to celebrate intimacy.'
- Henri Nouwan

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*

It's circa 1960s, this photo is, with loved ones gathered around the mahogany table, layered in white linen starched and pressed within an inch of its life.  All have donned their Sunday go-to-meeting attire and another homemade feast has been savored.  The main course {savory chicken and dumplings laced with fresh rosemary ... or perhaps a herbed roast leg of lamb with mint jelly} has been polished off.  Dessert is about to be served on the beautiful blue-rimmed china.  Fresh flowers create the centerpiece, and that ain't no store bought cake front and center.  Blue depression glasses are filled with ice cold milk, and smiles and laughter wrap themselves 'round and 'round the crowded room.

This is a feast of love and laughter that somehow springs from imperfect hearts in an imperfect family.  And only by His grace are there seldom tense silences or harsh words as we gather together.  For this is a safe place and this is the stuff that memories are woven of, secure and warm and strong.

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Fast forward to 2014.  Five of those adults now dine with Jesus in the most spectacular dining room ever.  The little cousins {I am unseen on the far left} are now all in their 50s and 60s and are scattered over five states.  They very rarely gather, which makes any reunions oh so sweet.  

Two generations later, I am now the presiding granny at yet another table.  Sweatshirts and jeans are the Sabbath attire.  A new passel of little cousins gather with their parents and grandparents as we celebrate the sweet nine year old's birthday.  We're talking hot dogs straight off the grill, spinach salad tossed with fresh veggies, hot homemade applesauce, and chips.  Any treasured remnants of Grandma's mid-century china are stashed away in someone's cupboard somewhere, and we dine on rectangular styrofoam plates and glasses hastily pulled from the kitchen cabinet.  A typical dessert at this table?  Rarely homemade.  There is no time or energy for that these days.  Ice cream comes out of the freezer, and Hershey's syrup and sprinkles and whipped cream from a can does the trick.

Yet 50 years later, the barometer reads the same.  It's a different time, a different place, but one central truth remains. 

This is a feast of love and laughter that somehow springs from imperfect hearts in an imperfect family.  And only by His grace are there seldom tense silences or harsh words as we gather together.  For this is a safe place and this is the stuff that memories are woven of, secure and warm and strong.

*

I wipe the spills and the crumbs from my husband's handcrafted table, scarred barn wood redeemed from the scrap heap, marred with scratches, gouges, and knots.  This imperfect heart overflows with gratitude for childhood memories way back in the day ... and this, the here and now.  For a rare Christ-centered legacy that wends its way through the generations.  For those little ones careening through the house, shouts and laughter and occasional tears echoing as bare feet pound on smooth wood in the hall, up and down the stairs.   

I head back to the kitchen, stepping around an assortment of little sneakers and boots kicked to the side and abandoned toys hastily dropped along the way.  I join my daughters in wrapping leftovers and washing dishes.  We wipe down sticky counters and close the fridge and cupboard doors tight. 

But the hearts of those who fill this home today?  As imperfect as they are, by His grace they remain open wide to each other.  And to their Heavenly Father from whom all blessings have flowed.

Imperfect hearts.  Imperfect family.  Imperfect table. 

Redeemed.






>  sharing life with Laura  *  Beth  *  Kristen  *  Beth



22 comments:

  1. Made perfect through Him! I love your photo - and that you shared some of the story in it. I miss so many who sat at the Christmas table for so many years:) We have Big Dinner - which I'll call the outside the nest boys and say, "Big Dinner" on whatever night - and they try to make it. I love sitting around a table, talking big and little things, with big and little children sitting along side us. Lots of blessing there! Then there's the daily table with regular dinner - and sometimes it's a hot potato dinner - lots of things being tossed around - but because we don't give up and we invite him - He blesses the imperfect.

    Thank you for sharing your heart. It so blessed mine today!

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    1. 'Outside the nest boys.' LOVE that! Life comes together as those who've left our nests return for a meal or a day or a few.

      So much of who we are centers on mealtimes ... and this, the great call to be fully present to each other in these gatherings, in the ordinaryness of daily life.

      Thanks for kicking off today's conversation, Blue Cotton friend ... it's good to see you again!

      ;-}

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  2. "This is a feast of love and laughter that somehow springs from imperfect hearts in an imperfect family."

    I love that picture, Linda. I love your words. I love our tables and how they hold strong memories and create strong bonds. Our extended family table has had several empty seats of late and it's been trying. But I'm looking forward to whoever can come to gather around our table again this Sunday for lunch among my extended family. The times are important.

    Love this, too:
    "Imperfect hearts. Imperfect family. Imperfect table.
    Redeemed."
    Yes!

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    1. Yes, yes, the empty chairs can be excruciating and those cherished ones will never be replaced. But God has a knack for bringing new loved ones on to our paths, and if we are wise, it's not long until they begin to join us in the breaking of bread.

      Thanks, Lisa, for being a treasured loved one 'round this table here.

      ;-}

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  3. And then there are some that have never enjoyed the fellowship of family--some who habitually dine alone--some so scarred by dysfunction they do not understand the concept of function. AND YET---we will all dine together at the banquet table at the feast offered in Heaven---by merely accepting His grace filled invitation. Redemption Indeed!

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    1. You're so right, Lulu. There are way too many who dine alone, some by choice, but many because of lack of invitation. Hospitality ... a dying art, a fading ministry? Sadly, I wonder ...

      Thanks for coming by today, my friend.

      ;-}

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  4. What a beautiful reminder to us all to cherish those special family gathering times. Sometimes I long for those more simple days, when meals could be tenderly labored over and offered as a gift. My extended family now opts mostly for restaurant food and gatherings. My parents are both gone and it seems our lives are too busy to do more than that. I'm so glad your family is remaining close and honoring those precious family ties--even if with a Betty Crocker dessert. :) Love ya, Linda!

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    1. Betty Crocker has become a fine friend over the years! Sadly. I wish I was devoted to the kitchen like my Grandma was. But that's not the case, and it's just as well because my scale would soon show it! And yes, we're eating out more ... but there's nothing like sharing a meal in someone's home. A simple bowl of soup or a wonderful sandwich? This is a lovely offering to another.

      I hope this week is finding you stronger, dear Beth ... I do look forward to sharing our table with you when you swing by NY in May!

      ;-}

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  5. And a WONDERFUL day it was!!!

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    1. It doesn't take much to make us happy on those very rare days when we're all together, does it. I wonder what my Grandma would say if she knew we were having hot dogs on styrofoam plates for Sunday dinner!

      Gasp.

      She was the best cook ever. I wish you could have enjoyed her meals along the way ...

      Hugs, sweet girl!

      ;-}

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  6. What a beautiful post, Linda. It inspired me to check the forecast for next Sunday. Yay ... it's suppose to be sunny and 51 on our first week-end of spring break here! Plans are now in place to breakout the Bar B Q grill (currently sitting in a shaded snowdrift) and enjoy a feast of love and laughter with extended family after church! Thanks for the motivation and inspiration! Hope it hurries spring along!

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    1. We usually grill straight through the winter despite the chill. But this winter was just TOO frigid,and we seldom got the cover off, since it was frozen solid in place.

      {Note to husband - please refill empty propane tank this week!}

      ;-}

      Enjoy that spring break, Cheryl ... and thanks for stopping in to visit today!

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  7. Linda, this is beautiful. I love the way you contrast the modern table with the 1960s table, yet point out that love still overflows in imperfect hearts. As I prepare for a houseful this weekend, your story will keep me smiling, anticipating the joy of family together times! And I thank God my children and grandchildren know Christ's perfect love. Thank you!

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    1. Your words have encouraged me today, Nancy. May you and your family grab hold of every full minute and relish the joy packed within.

      Blessings ...

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  8. Linda, I love how you glory in the imperfection of it all. I like to say about my family, "They may be crazy, but they are my crazies." :)

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    1. I like to dispel the myth that counselors, pastors, ministry leaders are perfect. Just because you've got a bunch of letters after your name doesn't mean you've in any way arrived.

      We're all imperfect and in desperate need of Christ's redemption.

      You got me on my soapbox, dear Lyli!

      ;-}

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  9. There is no perfection accept His -- we can only strive to be better people each day by keeping Him in our hearts.

    Lovely, lovely post that hits close to home. xo

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    1. Yes, yes. He alone is perfect. And He alone can mend our broken places and the broken places in our loved ones' lives, as well.

      Thank you, Nancy. I am grateful that you are here ...

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  10. This is so beautiful, Linda. I love that picture--it says so much :). The table is such a precious place to gather.

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    1. I love that you've dropped in at dinnertime tonight, Laura! I would have gladly shared a bowl of piping hot wonton soup with you!

      Yum!

      Hugs.

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  11. Hello Linda,
    I'm so sorry for the delay in stopping by. This was beautiful. I loved your picture. And this jumped out at me..."This is a feast of love and laughter that somehow springs from imperfect hearts in an imperfect family." I come from a big family and there is much gathering around the table. What's a struggle at times is that I'm the only one who is a believer. I'd love the chance to sit around the table with you.
    I hope your weekend was wonderful.
    You are a beautiful person! Such a delight to know you in this lovely blogging world.
    xoxoxo

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    1. Beth ... my prayer for you right now is that your family would see Jesus Christ in you and fall in love with Him. He's not done yet, my friend ...

      Grace and peace, dear lady. And who knows? Maybe our paths will cross someday, and we can break bread together. I'd be honored.

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Welcome to the table, friend!

This is where we gather and hang out. I'd love for you to pull up a chair and jump right into the conversation. Or simply say 'hello.'

l'll be dropping in to visit you sometime soon ...

Linda

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