Tuesday, October 22, 2013

People 101 : : Day 22 : : Disintegrated Relationships



What happens when that glorious music fades, when the effortless lilting melody that defined your relationship has gone strangely off-key?

How do you respond when those sweet seasons change unbidden, when your pathways fail to converge with ease, when your hearts are simply unable to beat as one?

What do you do when the atmosphere between you gets crispy and tense, the silences strangely awkward, and conversation is just plain stagnant?

What happens when the stark reality of betrayal or abuse or abandonment hits you right between the eyes ... and you realize that trust has long ago ebbed silently away?

When does it finally hit you that this beloved one has already checked out, moved on, and created a way forward without you?

What release will come when you finally stop playing those tapes in your mind of 'the way we were' ... and look at the reality of what is happening right in this moment?

What vistas lie ahead when you cease driving down life's roadway gazing in the rearview mirror with futile longing ... or entertaining endless woulda-shoulda-coulda's?

Can you stand before God and tell Him that you left no stone unturned in your efforts to reconcile and reconstruct a healthy relationship?

Are you able to love deeply enough that you finally whisper tear-laden prayers of forgiveness, lift your weary grasping hands, and release the one who has already departed?

'There's an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
 
A right time for birth and another for death,
 
A right time to plant and another to reap,
 
A right time to kill and another to heal,
 
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
 
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
 
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
 
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
 
A right time to embrace and another to part,
 
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
 
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
 
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
 
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
 
A right time to love and another to hate,
 
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.'
~ Ecclesiastes 3 {The Message}


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14 comments:

  1. Relationships can be difficult at times -- these are good questions to consider Linda.

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    1. Yeah, difficult, challenging ... glorious, incredible. The pendulum does swing back and forth, doesn't it, Nancy. And knowing when it's time to bid farewell is one of life's most extremely painful decisions. And for that, we need the wisdom that only comes from God Himself.

      Thanks for sharing with me today, my friend ...

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  2. Beautiful photo!
    Greetings, RW & SK

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  3. I love the writing you are doing on the blog. Love your punchy style - it is not boring and your hitting things as they are. I want to see more people comment on your blogs though. They told us in school that for every comment you receive, 1000 never said anything although they would have. I am telling you that your writing is great!!!!!!

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    1. Hey - thanks for being such a huge support! I so appreciate those words of affirmation ... and YES, I would love more readers to leave a few words, a bit of wisdom, some thoughts, or a quick 'hi!' It can get kind of lonely around here!

      Our stats show that we've got lots of people dropping by ... dear reader, please accept this as your personal invitation to jump right on in and join the conversation! You are always welcome here ...

      ;-}

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  4. This is "soul-deep," Linda. Beautifully done from start to finish. Thank you for blessing me this morning.

    "How do you respond when those sweet seasons change unbidden, when your pathways fail to converge with ease, when your hearts are simply unable to beat as one?"

    What a powerful question this is, poetry to the heart. Yes, how *do* we respond when "those sweet seasons change unbidden"? Difficult to face, but life-building, that one.

    With gratitude, as always,
    HBHW

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    1. Yes, HBHW, there are no easy answers to these questions. But they do bear asking, don't they. For we must walk through the wrenching realities of our pain to get to the other side where healing and peace come. Praise God, we do not walk through our traumas alone, but are carried and sheltered in the arms of the Healer of our souls ...

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  5. You drew me in with your words, so raw and authentic. Beautiful. It saddens me that this is the reality for relationships and marriages, in which God has joined together, in our fallen world. Yet you, being made holy through it, is the hope we have in our broken world. Blessings!

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    1. For sure, Theresa, we are broken, wounded people. And you are so right, that God never meant for it to be this way. If our hearts are grieved, how much more so His ...

      Thank you for coming by to add to this 'raw and authentic' discussion. It's not an easy one, is it ...

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  6. Gary Chapman had a post on Facebook today that said :
    Reconciliation means "to bring back to harmony." It requires working through differences, finding new ways of doing things, solving the conflicts of the past, and learning how to again work together as a team.

    I might add that it's very easy to look at the other person and blame them..........it all came together when God showed me all the work I needed to do in myself!! He is so good!

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    1. For sure, we all need to be looking in our own soul-mirrors alot more instead of focusing on everyone else's faults and sins. But ... it's so much easier to pass the buck, isn't it. Thanks for reminding us, Val, that God blesses when we do what He's inviting US to do!

      Appreciate your sharing today!

      ;-}

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  7. Thank you for your post and your honest and searching questions. These are thoughtful questions to ponder and let sift through one's heart and relationships. Thank you.
    Susan

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    1. I'm happy you came by today, Susan. Yes ... these are important questions for us to consider ... not easy, but vital? Yes.

      Blessings ...

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Welcome to the table, friend!

This is where we gather and hang out. I'd love for you to pull up a chair and jump right into the conversation. Or simply say 'hello.'

l'll be dropping in to visit you sometime soon ...

Linda

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