Most readers only know me as a blogger.
But on most Wednesdays and Thursdays, you'll find me in my office, conversing heart-deep with women who are brave and courageous enough to allow me to hold a mirror up to their aching souls, asking simple questions that have no easy answers. We sit gently, often wordlessly, with her responses. At times, we wonder aloud if there are different ways to think, to respond, to re-frame, to let go. To redeem her intense pain, whirling emotions, seemingly impossible choices.
She works hard, we work deep together, side by side. We partner week by week,
venturing slowly to the healing place, where pain is handled tenderly. And where the wounds begin to heal. And she discovers that yes, life can begin to blossom and emerge strong.
And that Jesus never left her side along the way.
Together we sift through options that might bring some rays of hope during this oh-so-difficult journey. Picking up a favorite book. Dusting off a long abandoned journal or to venturing outdoors for a sunlit walk. Maybe picking up her music once again or pulling out the camera that hasn't seen the light of day in eons. Or perhaps reaching for a paintbrush or some yarn ... or heading back into the kitchen once again to create a healthy meal.
To venture forth just a wee bit, to move gradually out of the comfort zone that's become too predictable or wearisome and not all that comfortable anymore.
I recently received this unsolicited, soul-deep piece from one courageous sojourner. Her writing is quite honest. Profound really. And I am honored to share these faith-laden words with her gracious permission.
red is a pencil she uses
red is a pencil she uses
on days that are "good"
marking her calendar per doctor's orders
(for he will check every month)
to see if her depression is better or worse
red, he says, is for days that are "normal"
lightness of spirit, energy of body, clarity of mind
for the rest there is yellow
okay days, functional but flat, and
this is when the sadness returns
crying, anxiety, apathy, loss of appetite, hopelessness
(to name only a few of the "markers" psychiatry has taught her well)
those days are dark, but she colors them just the same
marking the days as they pass, one by one
but there is a red she believes in
every day, whether red yellow or blue
a perfect crimson covering each one
no matter how she feels, healthy or ill
because the blood of her Savior covers it all
every single day of her life,
past present and yet to come
for God is perfect in all His ways
and His plan for her is good
just as He planned for her from the foundation of time
* bouquet of pencils by luigi diamanti @ free digitalphotos.net
* sharing this beautiful hope with other grace-filled, valiant sojourners at Laura's . Jen's . Kristen's . Emily's