Tuesday, March 12, 2013

The Struggling Marriage

Go ahead, face it.  Your marriage isn't what you hoped it would be.  Something just doesn't feel right.  You're not quite sure what's gone wrong along the way.  It might have been like a slow fade, a gradual erosion over time.  Or a partnership defined by some terrific highs ... and absolutely terrifying lows.  Either way, your relationship has come to be riddled with more deeply tender sore spots than you'd really care to admit.

Those fragile, hurting places can dissolve into painful, festering wounds if not tended to.

Difficult?  Disappointing?  Or downright destructive?  Leslie Vernick believes that these are the 3 Ds of the marriage that struggles.

Breaking through the hazy shadows of denial is always step one.  Discovering what the challenge looks like is step two.  Because when you've got a name to it, something you can wrap your mind around, you can begin to figure out what you want to do about it.  And that's step three.

Easier said than done.  These can be hard steps to navigate well. 

And that's one of the reasons I so admire Leslie.  No one puts her finger on the problem and offers clearer solutions in very muddy waters better than this exceptional counselor/coach/author.  If you're married {or hope to be}, you've just gotta head right over here.  Because she's probably going to be able to help identify what's going on for you.

Have we hit a difficult, stress-fueled patch?  Or are there an array of huge disappointments that have accumulated over time?  Or is this something that's just plain destructive, pure and simple?

And figuring out the answer opens the door to asking yourself the bigger question.  What am I going to do about it?

Messy Marriage


  1. I so appreciate your heart for hurting couples, Linda! And thanks for highlighting Leslie's ministry and blog. She has so many rich resources for couples who are facing a difficult marriage. And thanks for linking up with Wedded Wed too - Hugs to you!

  2. Yes, Beth, I love Leslie ... and her book 'The Emotionally Destructive Relationship' is absolutely top shelf!

  3. Thanks for this post! My marriage has been struggling, but it's strengthening through Christ. I am grateful for amazing Christian women like you, who seek to help those who are in need:) Blessings to you!

  4. Thank you for your honesty, Hope ... may this be a season of real growth and peace for you and your man.

  5. Thanks for so often connecting me with other blog authors who have such great resources!!

  6. Dar - that's one of my favorite things about blogging ... getting to share resources that I come across that I think are worth our attention!


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