Dear Family and Friends,
The year 2012 began with deep despair for me. I saw no way out of the misery I was feeling. Unemployed, feeling my life had no purpose, I continued to spend more and more time isolated in my bedroom, which was at the time the most unattractive room in my house...
I was overwhelmed with health concerns, including continued weight gain. (Did not even look at myself in the mirror.) So after a medical appt. during which the NP confronted my need to quit drinking and find a program, I began my journey home, feeling even more afraid and isolated. On that drive home, God spoke to my heart through a song "I Will Lift My Eyes" (Ps. 121.) So I lifted my eyes to the hills, from whence comes my help, and humbled myself before the keeper of my soul, and with tears streaming down my face, I drove myself to my first meeting.
That was March 7th, 2012. What an amazing journey! In previous letters I have shared many of the blessings and miraculous changes, so I will simply say I once again have eyes that see (others and the beautiful world around me). It fills me with excitement for each new day. I now have a heart that feels and it is filled with love for God first and others I encounter.
Several in my family have a practice of sharing their highs and lows of the days around the dinner table. (I share this because I think it is a wonderful idea, especially in teaching children how to identify and express their feelings.) I can honestly say that while there have been bumps and challenges along the way, my days, my year has been filled with many more highs than lows. When asked, I sometimes have difficulty thinking of a particular low for that day. I am not "Pollyanna," I still feel some of the same old emotions, but I know how to change the thought pattern, say that simple prayer of serenity, and count my many blessings.
I have rediscovered new pleasures in life, and have started a part-time business that is as much a ministry as a job. I am very grateful to be able to use talents and gifts God has given me. Mostly, I love the interactions with people.
There is much more I could say, but I will keep it simple. I will quote from a page in that famous book known as the Big Book: "This latest part of my life has had a purpose not in great things accomplished but in daily living."
And that is my daily prayer, that God will allow me to be His vessel of light and love to touch the lives of others I encounter along life's journey. I am forever grateful and thrilled to begin this 2013 calendar year SOBER!
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Celebrating with her ~
= photograph by DESPITE STRAIGHT LINES