Monday, October 29, 2012

31 Days of Awesome Relationships : : Day 29 : : Avoiding Those 3 Relationship Killers

Let's face it.  We don't want to do damage to all that trust we've worked so hard to build, all those memories that are so precious.  It's good to take a deep soul-look from time to time just to be sure that these 3 deadly killers haven't crept in to unravel that priceless love, to shatter the sometimes fragile connection between two hearts ...

Contemplative leader and always challenging blogger Lisa Whittle writes, ' . . . Jealousy never produces good in us.  It severs, stifles, and kills spirits, starting with ours.  Envy is not really about someone else.  At the core, it is about us not being grateful or content with our own life.  Our heart will only become more damaged by pretending our jealousy doesn’t exist.  We must call it what it is to help it heal.  Jealous feelings often feel out of control.  But there are things we can do, today: focus on our own character building, put our head down and pray, continuously.  When we serve, we expand our love. We defy our jealous feelings by serving the person we envy, and we watch how our love for them grow . . .'  {read the entire article}

'Hello.  My name is Slanderer.  My life is defined not by who I am in Christ or by my giftedness, accomplishments, or loving relationships.  Instead, hurt, frustration, fear, and the disrespect that has been leveled at me along the way has come to mold and shape me.  I operate from a place of weakness and powerlessness.  I am often vulnerable, angry, and have little self-esteem or confidence.  In order to somehow defend myself and feel more important, I attempt to destroy relationships by . . .' {finish reading}

'In my role as a pastoral counselor, I've talked to hundreds and hundreds of men and women during the last decade.  And I think it's safe to say that between 90% - 95% of those who have sat with me, tissues in hand, are there because there's a . . .' {finish reading ...}

'Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting'
- Psalm 129: 23 -24.

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  1. Forgiveness is the thing I've had to work the hardest at. I always felt if I forgave someone it would let them off the hook or in some way excuse their behavior. If I held on to unforgiveness I was somehow "punishing" the person. How wrong I was. The only person I was doing harm to and punishing was myself!! I still have problems with it but at least Linda has set me on the right path and God is working with me!!

  2. Number three is a big one for me. I've been praying to not only forgive, but forget a hurt that has been weighing me down for four months. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, but I'm still struggling with this.

  3. Remembering can be a good thing! We can become wiser and gain the ability to set healthy boundaries for the future, and find the strength to say 'no thank you' to toxic people and situations that we need to avoid.

    I love the peace that comes when we release our offender into God's most capable hands and let Him decide what the punishment should be.

    Valerie and Elizabeth ... I so appreciate you sharing where you are this evening!


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