Monday, May 14, 2012

Note from a Slanderer

Hello.  My name is Slanderer. 

My life is defined not by who I am in Christ or by my giftedness, accomplishments, or loving relationships.  Instead, hurt, frustration, fear, and the disrespect that has been leveled at me along the way has come to mold and shape me.  I operate from a place of weakness and powerlessness.  I am often vulnerable, angry, and have little self-esteem or confidence.

In order to somehow defend myself and feel more important, I attempt to destroy relationships by sowing seeds of distrust.  Through accusation, gossip, and idle chatter, I specialize in attacking another's character, defaming them and damaging their reputation.  My words are cunning, malicious, and gather strength with age.  The more I am quoted, the more I am believed. 

I work very hard at separating close friends, splitting families, dividing churches, and destroying relationships.  I gather people around me and cause them to take sides.  In doing so, I produce doubt, confusion, heartache, health maladies, sleepless nights, and tear-stained pillows.  I maim without killing.  I break hearts and ruin lives. 

In the end, I am nobody's friend because I prove that I cannot hold a confidence, will lash out when angry, and will do my best to destroy whoever crosses me.

Over time, my heart has become more wounded and hardened.  Jesus said, 'For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks' {Luke 6:45}.  And Jesus' brother James talks about my tongue.  He says that 'it corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell ... it is a restless evil full of deadly poison' {3:6,8}.

Yes, my name is Slanderer.  I desperately need healing for all the pain and brokenness that has defined my life.  I need to forgive and release those who have deeply hurt me along the way.  And I need to seek forgiveness from those who have been so gravely injured by my own destructive words. 

- adapted from piece by unknown author -

- illustration by franko_44 -


  1. Thank you for this post ... The church would be so different if they followed what you have said.

    Makes me look at my own life and see where I have messed up.

    [via email}

  2. Truth be told, none of us has clean hands. I praise God for conviction. Forgiveness. Healing. And fresh starts.

  3. The best description of slander I have ever read. I pray that Holy Spirit will take these words and convict so He can wash hearts and change lives. No wonder Paul was so determined to root out slander from the churches he served. This seems like one of Satan's choice strategies.

  4. The enemy of our souls would love nothing more than to destroy the Church, the body of Christ, one precious, sweet relationship at a time. He certainly prowls around looking for whom he can devour {1 Peter 5:8}.

    Sadly, many of us who name the name of Jesus seem to be more than willing to sit idly by while our sisters and brothers are verbally assaulted.

    To our shame, we don't put our foot down call this character assasination what it is - sin. We're not willing to say 'enough already,' and we don't head for the door and flee from these kinds of toxic conversations.

    The result is that our deep love and commitment to each other slowly but surely ebb away.

    Let's lay this truth on the table and call slander what it is instead of making excuses for it and allowing it to continue unchecked.

  5. Well said. The perfect example of how a bitter root produces a bitter fruit.
    Where are those who will walk away when someone begins to vomit those slanderous words? Where are those who will speak the truth in love and name it for what it is when it begins to spew forth? I agree with the emailer who mentioned how different the church would be and how much more powerful if slander were put away and the world could see how believers loved each other instead.

  6. More on bitter roots and bitter fruit is here -

  7. I am 60 years old and I still remember the loss to suicide of my best friend in junior high school -- gossip by others is what finally got to her where she didn't think she could take it anymore. I still hurt. Murder is not just a physical act --

  8. Oh the scars run deep as we rip each other to shreds ...

    May God give you peace as you think of happier days with your friend. Thank you for sharing just a bit of your story, Lake Lady.

  9. i needed to hear this. although the one who has hurt me and has been slandered in private to my household is not a believer. this truth still applies no matter who the person is. i pray that the holy spirit will work in me to weed out this sinful behaviour and set me free. thanks for this post.

  10. Weeding out the behavior is a very apt picture. Dealing with slander and gossip is often an ongoing process of clearly identifying and addressing disrespectful and unkind ways of referring to others.

    May He give you a grace-filled spirit and thoughtful words as you speak truth, as you heal.

  11. Thank you for that affirmation ...

  12. I reread the blog this morning and the comments, this must have hit a home run with so many comments left by people, especially since you tell me comments aren't always left ... you write extremely well, keep it up, and I still think you could write a book and should give this considerable thought.

    {sent via email}

  13. Your encouraging words help me reach high. I love you, Tim ...

  14. I think we have all been slandered and most probably by one committing the sin of envy.

    Narcissistic personality disorders are most prone to being both thin skinned and envious! They put you on a pedestal in the beginning of the relationship, then begin to focus on your weaknesses; passing on their ‘suspicions’ and criticisms to others ...

    {via email}

  15. No matter what our diagnosis or label {or lack of}, the truth is that we all could use more time gazing into our own mirrors, and looking deep into our own souls to 'see if there is any wicked way in me' {Psalm 139}

    Thanks the professional insight!


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l'll be dropping in to visit you sometime soon ...


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