Job's Comforters

We've all known people who've encountered horrific loss or unspeakable tragedy.  Our hearts are touched.  Sadly, in our uncomfortable efforts to say something ... anything, what comes out of our mouths can often open the already gaping wound even further.

Kind of like Job's comforters.

Or some of us lob Bible verses or pray long, unending prayers at the wounded.

Or yammer on and on about similar crises we've gone through or heard about.

Or maybe withdraw our presence and disappear from the scene and say nothing at all.

I'm not sure what response is the most searing.

So, I appreciate this list of how NOT to respond to someone who has been a victim of sexual assault ... as well as some very simple verbal kindnesses that you can offer.

As I looked at these suggestions, I realized that these thought-filled responses are applicable whenever someone has encountered a particularly unsettling, life-altering catastrophe. 

Death.  Divorce.  Injury.  Loss of health or job or home or relationship.

The Apostle Paul wrote, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" {Ephesians 4:29}.

It's not at all about my needs or my feelings.  It's not about sharing words of eloquent consolation or deep wisdom.  It's about simply being compassionately present for the one who has suffered a great loss.  And validating the place where they are.

Deeply moved at His own searing loss, Jesus wept {John 11:35}.  We might need to be quietly available to do so as well.

Linda

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